Weaknesses have the tendency to creep up on strengths, until they obfuscate them and leave them behind.
We give way more importance to what we are not good at, we often set goals to fill gaps we might have, we end up setting ourselves up for failure. And by doing so, we drift farther away from what makes us who we are.
Nobody is asking us to be good at everything but us.
The way you communicate reality is often more important than reality itself in building bonds. Or breaking them.
Say you have to share a decision with your team, one that is not fully fair, one you were not involved in making, one that will not make them happy.
You can state the fact, and say there is little that can be done to change reality. You can say that “little” is something your team will have to pull off, and that the deadline for it is in one week.
Or you can still state the fact, and say you are sorry for the situation. There is still something that can be done, and you will drive the effort, coordinating the work of the different team members.
Reality has not changed between option 1 and option 2.
Relationships have though.
You choose the rules of your game.
You choose where to start from, what is allowed and what not, what winning looks like, and which other players are in the same game.
This is not an easy task, and that is the reason why many of us play someone else’s game.
It is not an easy task, but when you are done, you stick to it. You do not change the basics every time things get tough, you do not go against the rules to get an easy win, you do not kick out players because they are getting better at it.
Make it a fair, long term game. You will win.
We get attached to things, and that hurts the most.
We get attached to things that bear no real weight in our lives. Winning or losing an argument will not make us a better human being. Getting promoted or not will not make us a better worker. A higher or a lower salary will often not change our lifestyle that much. The new idea we have failed to promote and develop will not make of us a failure.
We get attached to things, and we should just let go.
That is when a wealth of possibilities will unfold.
When in doubt take a step back, give support, be generous, help.
Building barricades and having it your way might give you a temporary sense of control, the feeling you are about to win. It is very rarely the case.
Kindness is the only way forward.
You've got this 