We want to protect others.
We don’t want to hurt feelings, share unpleasant truths, give negative feedback. We refrain from difficult conversations, and we let issues escalate until they become too big to be tackled. We rarely push. We almost never ask. We always assume it is not the right time.
We want to protect others. And by doing that, we protect ourselves.
It is a noble intention. Let’s just not take cover behind it every time we are not ready to leap.
I don’t know how many people I have heard at different levels of any given organization complaining about meetings. And I don’t know how it is possible that despite this we are spending between 20 and 50% of our working time in meetings.
A study by Mroz et al. features a very useful checklist to make the best out of meetings – thanks to Ethan Mollick for sharing it.
Start with considering if the meeting is necessary or not – information sharing and updates are not valid reasons to have a meeting -, as well as who should be present – being a fly on the wall is a huge waste of time. Then have an agenda (and stick to it), avoid complaining (as in nothing ever works or this issue cannot be fixed), and follow up with a request for feedback, from which you commit to take ideas to improve future meetings.
We all want to get better at meetings. Who is taking the first step?
In University, I was taught that communication, in its most basic form, is the cooperation between a sender and a receiver to get a message through a shared environment.
And while that certainly holds true still today, I am more and more convinced that in business, communication is in the hands of the receiver.
Think about marketing: the receiver is forced through a myriad of messages and decides what to dedicate attention to in a matter of seconds. Think about internal communication: the receiver can call bullshit on any message management is sharing if that does not reflect their day-to-day experience. Think about presentations: the receiver is so fed up with bullet points and animations (particularly after one year of virtual meetings) to the point they can check emails or write a report while you are struggling to make a case.
The receiver is central in any form of corporate communication.
And the fact that we spend so little time trying to figure them out is the most widely overlooked device a professional has to leverage to get their messages through.
As a leader, the surest way to have your team contribute is to speak when a question is needed and to shut up in the process of finding the answer.
The problem is that we often get this all wrong. And so direct reports ask questions and managers give answers, nurturing an organization that is bottlenecked, does not grow, and demotivates.
Leaders, be vulnerable and let go.
Many business books (strategy books, leadership books, self-improvements books) present their ideas in a villain vs hero way.
On one side, there are undesirable strategies, leadership styles, behaviours, tactics and on the other are desirable strategies, leadership styles, behaviours, tactics.
And this is where they fail to inspire change, for two reasons mainly. First of all, very few people identify with the villain – I am not the villain, then why should I change?. And secondly, the positive features of the hero are presented as innate, almost magical – I am not a demi-god, so why bother?.
A villain turned hero approach would probably be more effective. It would humanize failure, introduce shades of grey, and make the whole story more approachable and relatable.
This is something to keep in mind also for the next story you are going to tell.
You've got this 