Tag: change

Training empathy

FabrizioLeave a comment

We must say “I am sorry” and “thank you” as many time as it is needed to strip the expressions of any trace of shame, defeat, capitulation. We must say that often, over and over again.

Even when we are not fully convinced we should.

Even when the other person’s behaviour does not fully justify it.

Even when there are tens of additional things to take into consideration.

It is one of the most effective ways to train the empathy muscle, and start seeing those around us as human beings that live outside of our narratives.

Give it a try.

In the middle

FabrizioLeave a comment

As it often happens with complex issues, even the discourse around the current pandemic has been shrinked to a binary matter: economy vs (public) health.

And of course, as with any complex issue, there is much more to take into consideration. There is the problem of parents who are taking care of their kids full-time while also working. There is the problem of foreign students who can’t support themselves for the lack of part-time and seasonal jobs. There is the effect of high level of stress and anxiety on the general well-being, that clearly mostly affects those who already face difficulties in a normal situation (and not only in the US).

If we want to move past (and forward) this serious situation, picking a side is probably not the wisest thing to do right now. Let’s stay in the middle instead, let’s listen to and appreciate the various stories that are emerging, and let’s together envision a future where greys are not squeezed for the sake of polarization.

A new wave

FabrizioLeave a comment

Three opportunities for a new wave of social media.

Subscription based – As they say, there is no such thing as a free lunch. Social media is no exception. For years, we have thought it was free (or very cheap, if you are an advertiser), but the costs we have all been paying are actually higher than most can appreciate. Asking the audience to pay a subscription fee would force social media to actually narrow their scope and become niche products that need to innovate to thrive.

Verified identity – The past few years have proven that anonymity online is not going to work. Opening a social media account should not be as easy as getting a new e-mail address, and the part of audience that should not be allowed to use them (kids) need to be forbidden access right from the get go. People are not as toxic when their name and reputation is on the line, and that would go a great length to make social media a more pleasant arena.

No second guessing – Algorithms behind timelines and promoted content are hugely unsatisfactory for the audience. What if instead their task would be to ask? Interruption is always annoying, and banner blindness has been discussed and studied for at least twenty years now. Putting people back in charge of what they are offered (also in terms of ads) can only increase engagement and make for a better user experience.

The first time

FabrizioLeave a comment

We are rarely as nervous and preoccupied as when we attempt something for the first time. Yet, in principle most of us are ok with the idea of failure when trying something new.

The first time is a learning opportunity, a chance to put in practice some of the theory we have read about, a way to tweak the recipe and make it ours. It is the stepping stone to every rewarding activity and we should approach it with some healthy excitement and a smile.

Not a straight line

FabrizioLeave a comment

Checking for others’ motives is a futile exercise, whose only purpose is to strengthen our internal narratives.

If I believe my work is not good enough, then the person asking how it is going is doing that only to mock me and enjoy my failure.

If I am not worth of the love of anybody, then the one checking on me is doing that only because they need something in return.

If I know I deserve that promotion, then the colleague who is silent about the process only wants to see my career end.

And on top of that, of couse motives are rarely absolute and unique. We ourselves often do things for a variety of reasons, some noble some less.

Helping those less lucky can be done out of compassion and because it gives us purpose.

We might ask how things are because we are genuinely interested in the other person and prefer to have chat rather than be left alone with our thoughts.

The tree we have planted in our garden is a great way to add to the green of the neighborhood and in its shadow we can relax in the hotter summer days.

Motives do not proceed in a straight line, and if we really want to find out about them, the best we can do is ask.