Tag: change

Own the silence

FabrizioLeave a comment

It’s ok to be quite.

There is no rule that tells you should be taking your turn in meetings, dumping words in an email threads, using a stopwatch to measure how long has been since you have said something.

Relevance is not measured by how loud or vocal you are.

It’s ok to be quite, and it’s ok to take a break from the constant hustle of demonstrating you know.

Try any of the following to better direct your effort.

Is there anything in particular you would like my input on?

I am not familiar with the issue, so I feel I can’t contribute much.

This is a topic I would like to discuss separately.

I agree with what was discussed so far.

Silence can be valuable, once you take ownership of it.

Under control

FabrizioLeave a comment

One of the biggest and most painful mistakes you can make is to believe it is about you.

Things happen all the time, people have thoughts and feelings that make them behave one way or the other, words are said and opinions expressed more than we can appreciate. And it is not about you.

Making it personal is the opposite of committing. It is a way to hide, to postpone, to not do.

It is also a strong instict, as each one of us is the main character to their own story.

Just keep it under control.

Whenever you are ready

FabrizioLeave a comment

Languishing is very real. And the best place you can start from is to acknowledge it is.

You might not yet be able to get out of this state, this weird absence of mental health, but self-awareness is always the first step towards something better.

Doing (without interruption) and connecting (with the intent to share) are great second steps, whenever you are ready.

Paths and doubts

FabrizioLeave a comment

Having a path to follow, something you dedicate time consistently, does not mean you will not have doubts.

There will be times when you will question your choices. There will be plenty of alternatives. There will be many reasons why you should change. Actually, there will only be rare occasions when you will feel completely convinced that what you are doing is exactly what you should be doing.

Unless your doubts turn into pain – physical or emotional -, or unless they prove real – with data or facts to support them -, the best thing you can do with it is embrace it. Doubt is part of doing. More often than not, it tells you are on the right path. It can be additional motivation.

You can’t eradicate doubt, so try to make friends with it.

Shades

FabrizioLeave a comment

Feeling ineffective is very different from feeling worthless.

Being down is not the same as being miserable.

If someone irritates us, it’s not the same as if they would enrage us.

When we feel regret for a situation, that does not make the situation humiliating.

Language is made of shades. And when it comes to emotions, in particular, being able to verbalize the different levels of intensity can make the difference between seeing options and getting lost.

We can get better at expressing how we feel, and this vocabulary of emotions by Ed Batista is a fantastic tool for that.

How are you feeling today?