We are easily impressed by outcomes, while it is the practice we should emphasize.
Outcomes constantly fluctuate between two opposites: success and failure. Outcomes are out of our control, they are dependent on many factors we do not even pretend to understand. Outcomes are in the future.
Practice is progressive growth, unstoppable. Practice is under our control, it is determined by factors (effort, time, attention) which we can allocate and redistribute. Practice is here and now.
When you feel overwhelmed, you need to be able to take a step aside, have a look at what makes you feel that way, and put all the ducks in a row.
Tasks are not that impossible when you break them down and put the result on a list.
You’ll most likely realize not everything needs to happen at the same time. Some things might possibly not be happening at all. Your focus will be assigned to what can deliver the highest return – that is to say what can free most space from your mental, emotional, and physical clutter.
Learn to feel that sense of overwhelm approaching. The way your body reacts is often a good indicator. Then, take that step.
The world is full with emails that lay out brilliant plans.
And it is full (though admittedly less so) with excited replies to those emails, expressing a convinced “I am in!”.
But the difference is in what comes after that.
Some people are excited by the process of getting things done, bringing the team together, convincing the skeptics, repeating the details over and over again, changing their minds, changing other people’s minds, navigating the ups and downs, waking up to failure, presenting in front of a crowd, putting in the work.
Some people are excited by the idea and see all of the above as an insurmountable obstacle.
You are probably part of one group or the other depending on circumstances. Just be aware that it is a choice you can make, an attitude you can change.
The problem with fit is that it tends to average.
And the even bigger problem for you is that it prevents you from being you.
When you try to fit – by using a jargon that everyone else is using, by going through a career trajectory that everybody can recognize, by telling a story that everyone feels comfortable with – you essentially hide your differences for the sake of harmony. It is normal to want to do that, even advisable in some instances.
But what happens once you are in, feel at ease, and attempt to express that part you hid? Here is a strong risk of a life of misery.
There are two things you can do to mitigate that.
First, you have to be selective with the groups you want to be part of. Not all groups are worth fitting in – which is, again, essentially losing a little part of you. Some groups are more open to differences than others – which means having to hide less, or nothing.
Second, you need to work on your story in a way that eases you into fitting in (the groups you selected). You own your story, you choose what to tell about, how to tell about it, and by making your story an expression of yourself, you signal to the group who you are and what they can expect from you.
It is no longer enough to tell that you work in marketing, that you are a great communicator, that you are an expert in corporate finance, that you have decades of experience in consulting.
That is the same thing thousands of other professionals can say at any given time, in any geography, with any type of degree and certification backing that up.
If you want to really stand out tell about the time you have leveraged your knowledge of customers to deliver unexpected growth; about the time you have changed the culture of a company who was struggling to engage employees; about the time you found a nasty mistake in the accounts of a potential acquisition, saving the buyer money and time; about the time you have turned around a stagnating start-up by suggesting they exploit an unexplored market opportunity.
We are not looking for marketers, communicators, accountants, or consultants.
We are looking for stories.
Your story.
You've got this 