There’s arguably nothing worse than feeling alone.
And that’s not sitting on your own when working, staying home alone, walking in a forest with no one around you, or even living by yourself.
It is the feeling of being the only one who sees something, who feels something, who experiences something.
There are two good news though.
The first is that we are more similar than we think when it comes to what we see, feel, and experience. So, connection is most likely available.
The second is that we have the possibility to build that connection by sharing our version first.
Your best self is not an absolute.
You can’t pretend to be at the same level of performance in all situations, under all life circumstances, whether you are relaxed or stressed, appreciated or diminished, content or sad.
So, you have to be able to look at what is the best self you can bring to the table today, right now. And you need to accept that it might be not as much as you (and others) would expect.
That’s a good step to build kindness towards yourself.
Habits are broken all the time, and when that happens, you need to allow yourself to go back a few steps.
Progress is very rarely linear, and thinking that it is, might actually keep us from starting again a healthy habit we have just failed at for a while.
If you were used to run 10km a week and you have not done that for a month, would it make it easier to start again with 2km this week?
If you are used to meditate for 20 minutes a day and you have not done that for a month, would it make it easier to start again with 5 minutes today?
If you are used to write 10,000 words a week and you have not done that for a month, would it make it easier to start again with 5,000 this week?
We are not machines and we need to be able to cut ourselves some slack once in a while.
Find the strength to cherish both the highs and the lows. One would not be possible without the other, and they both have lessons to teach about who you are.
How many of the things we call our flaws, of the traits we don’t like about us, of the behaviors we want to hide, are such because we are in the wrong situation?
Are we really afraid of speaking in front of an audience, or is it because we have always spoken in front of the wrong audience?
Should we call ourselves temperamental, or is it because nobody has ever took a minute to explain what was happening?
Do we really reject close relationships, or is it because the people we have been close to have hurt us deeply?
Are you wrong, or is the situation wrong?
Should you change yourself, or should you change the people you are with, the things you are doing, the place you call home?
Always work on yourself.
And figuring out what is wrong is part of the process.