Being a parent is not so much about raising your kids as it is about rising above yourself.
Kids do not comply, they rarely listen, and when they do it’s mainly to make sure they remember what you said when they can use it against you. And so, trying to make them fit, to make them adjust, to change them is not only futile. It is counterproductive.
The only way you can be a decent parent is by looking within yourself and get a hang of all the things that stand in the way.
If there’s a behaviour that makes you go mad and shout, flag it and work on it. If there are some things you really like to do with your kids, and some things you really don’t like to do with them, notice that soon, and be anyway prepared to yield more often than not. If there are some days in which you’d just like to be left alone, first forget about it, then make sure you can be aware of that, so that you will express it with words rather than with shitty reactions. If there are occasions where you screwed up, say so, and also say you are sorry.
You are the only one who can change this.
P.S.: this is certainly valid also when you are not in a parenting situation.