Category: self-help

Mixed motives

Fabrizio4 Comments

You might be solving an interesting problem because you need to find a way to pay your bills. And if you solve it for enough people, perhaps you will be earning way more than you had ever imagined.

That is fine.

You might be sharing what you know with others simply because you are bored and unchallenged in your current professional situation.

That is fine.

You might have enrolled to a two hours workshop because you are interested in the topic and because you’ll get the opportunity to meet that person you’ve been wanting to meet for a long time.

That is fine.

You might be spending hours coaching and developing the people in your team to increase their performance, and because this might mean a better role and a higher pay in the future.

That is fine.

Mixed motives are a reality of the world, and we should be able to look at our work and the work of others through this lens. It’s liberating and it opens up opportunities.

A step back

FabrizioLeave a comment

The fact you do not have all the necessary skills to do something you have been chosen to do can be a reason why, for a certain period, you cannot perform at your best.

But you have to make sure it does not turn into an excuse.

Being chosen is a responsibility, and you have to own it. It’s ok to leap towards something you are not perfectly confident about, that’s actually the very same idea behind leaping. Then, you have to consciously make the effort to fill the gap. So that, when you look back, the leap does not look as scary as it once did.

If for a long time you find yourself in a position for which you cannot fulfill all the duties, that makes you feel uncomfortable, for which others are demanding things you are not equipped to deliver, it is ok to take a step back.

Even if the one who chose you did not notice.

Especially if the one who chose you did not notice.

When feeling down

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you are having a tough period, double down on your practices.

Whether it’s meditation, writing, running, working, helping, or any other. Being consistent with what makes you feel good, with what gives you a sense of accomplishment, is even more important when there’s something that deeply troubles or bothers you.

And by the way, the best moment to start a practice is today.

A different decision

FabrizioLeave a comment

Our experience dictates how we are going to react to what happens around us.

A look, a word, a smile, or the lack of them. A failure, a comment, a blank page, a missed opportunity, a bad day, a mistake, a moment of anger, a lack of control, a fall into a negative habit, an uncontrollable impulse to do something that’s going to hurt us and others. All of this, and much more, can trigger distructive loops that we helplessly follow despite them being well-known and familiar. We spiral down.

In this situation, it takes effort to get back control. It takes presence, awareness, will. And when we have that, it is possible, in the moment, to make a different decision.

To answer an insult with kindness.

To see a failure as an opportunity.

To approach the moment of anger as temporary.

To interpret the laughs as unrelated to your worth.

To counter detachment with passion and warmth.

It’s a quality that can be trained, and the reward is having a spectrum of possibilities to respond to what goes on around you.

It’s worth a try.

Miniscule

FabrizioLeave a comment

There’s so many miniscule things we allow to much power to.

Our working day could be disrupted because we are asked to give a 10-minutes presentation in front of the whole company.

Our self worth could be jeopardized because somebody, caught up in their thoughts, has treated us unfairly or given us a harsh response.

Our self esteem could disentegrate because a person we have never met or talked to before is telling us they do not like our work.

Our relationship could go through a rough couple of weeks because our dearest one didn’t have time to answer our message the other day.

Putting things in perspective, relating them to the greater scheme of things, is a necessary skill for anybody who wants to make a change. And this question is still very powerful to achieve just this.