Category: self-help

The beast

FabrizioLeave a comment

How much of the past are you taking into today?

Will you be saying ‘hello’ to the person who rejected you years ago, calling now with a new opportunity?

Will you be asking ‘what’s next?’ when a friend you have not talked to in years will want to patch things up?

Will you be open to take that chance, despite having failed it before in similar circumstances?

If we can label what’s going on, look the beast in the eyes, move past regrets, judgement and might-have-beens, our day will be much lighter.

There’s no need to overcomplicate things with burdens that serve no purpose in our life.

Appease

FabrizioLeave a comment

More often than not, acting to appease the demand of someone else will end with the person we are trying to appease demanding more.

What are you going to do with the new request? And with the following one? And with the one that will, inevitably, come after that?

You need to be able to stand by your decisions because they make sense to you, because you have evaluated different options and assesed that’s the best course of action, because that’s what you would have done if nobody would have asked.

Intentionality is the only thing that matters.

Reliable narrator

FabrizioLeave a comment

Most of our time is spent thinking about what was, what could have been, what will be.

As our days go by, we are rarely in the moment. Doing. Feeling. Breathing. This increases our sense of dissatisfaction and incompleteness. Bit after bit, we grow more unhappy.

Meditation is not a practice to become better or more satisfied. It is a training in the habit of being here and now, of appreciating what is going on around us and within us, of being in charge of our attention and focus.

It’s the only way to be reliable narrators of our own story.

Harsh

FabrizioLeave a comment

The harshness of your ways is merely fear and pain.

Fear of something that might happen, of something that might repeat itself, of losing control, of being subject to judgement, of not meeting others’ expectations, of being hurt, of having to face the unknown.

Pain for something that has happened in your life, for not being able to reciprocate a feeling, for a scar that has not healed yet, for the too much effort you are putting in keeping things under your will, for the lack of rest and tranquillity.

If you find the courage to speak of fear and pain, you immediately take their power away. Your relationships will benefit from it greatly.

No cogs

Fabrizio1 Comment

When looking back at our career, all we see is often company names, titles and dates.

But in those periods, in those roles, at those organisations, we have done stuff. Often, a lot of stuff. And that is much more important than the rest.

If you invest time writing down what you have done at one company, it is likely you are going to identify two or three skills you had no idea how to word and present. Do this for all of your past experiences, and you’ll have a pretty good picture of what you are good at and what you like to do.

The following step is to build a story around that, a narrative that matches the characteristics of the market you are in and the needs of the company you want to be hired from.

If you do not want to be treated like a cog, step out of the machine and go find your way.