There are many paths to success.
And so all you have to do, day in and day out, is walk the path that leads where you want to go, in a way you are comfortable with and that aligns with your values and stories.
If you let others define this for you, you are missing on the best part.
The very same event can be described by those involved in very different ways. The same person can describe the same event in different ways at different times.
Does this mean one version is the correct one and the others are wrong?
When we describe what is happening to us we almost never stick to the facts. We bring with us past experiences, values, emotions, sensations, expectations, and as time passes our memory filters out most of what does not align with our story.
And so it happens that often a version is correct for the person narrating it, and wrong for those listening.
Something worth accepting.
It is difficult not to be bothered by a fly in a closed room.
For as much as you force yourself into a state of flow, the fly will make its presence noticeable incessantly, and eventually you will be left with two options: either be distracted by it – shooing it away, having your pressure and heartbeat rise, calling it names, trying to catch it -, or open the room to let it out and continue your activity.
There are two points to this short and conventional story.
The first is that, more often than not, we choose the distraction over the solution. It feels easier, we don’t have to stand, it gives us a prompt and lasting excuse not to do the work (well), and it feeds an illusion of time passing.
The second is that if we want to do the work (well), we first of all need to keep flies and other distractions out of the room where the work is done.
It is that simple.
How much information do we consume daily? And out of that, how much information do we understand, evaluate, put into our daily practice, and eventually use to improve?
We have never been more exposed to facts, theories, news, practices, frameworks.
We have never been more superficial.
We must say “I am sorry” and “thank you” as many time as it is needed to strip the expressions of any trace of shame, defeat, capitulation. We must say that often, over and over again.
Even when we are not fully convinced we should.
Even when the other person’s behaviour does not fully justify it.
Even when there are tens of additional things to take into consideration.
It is one of the most effective ways to train the empathy muscle, and start seeing those around us as human beings that live outside of our narratives.
Give it a try.
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