Category: self-help

Keep at it

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The months we are living are a challenge.

And even those who are lucky enough to still have job, to have a house, a supportive family, food on their table every day, more comfort than the vast majority of the world population. They too are struggling.

We live now in a prolonged liminal phase and we do not know what we will become. As individuals, as a community, as a global society. There is a sizable and constantly present amount of stress and anxiety that is slowly eroding many of the things that used to form our identity, our belonging, our purpose.

In a time like this, we need to keep talking to each other. We need to communicate what we feel, open to other people’s emotions and find common ground. Differences do not matter now.

And we also need to keep practicing. Whatever your practice is, whatever the thing that makes you feel good, whatever the habit that anchors you to the known. Keep at it.

These are the times, after all, where resilience is built.

Today and tomorrow

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Success is about aligning the actions of today to the desired outcomes of tomorrow.

This is where most of us fail.

Because the short-term adrenaline rush, the immediate reward, is very attractive when compared to something that might (or not) come at some point in the future. And what if when we are there we will not like it? And what if this shiny thing right here, right now will actually become a once in a lifetime opportunity?

It never does.

We spend our days moving from one distraction to the next, and it is only when we look back at our day, at our week, at our year, (at our life?) that we realize we are not a step closer to where we want to go.

It is natural, common and accepted. And we need to stop it.

Things done right

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The moment we think: “if you want things done right, do it yourself”. That is the moment things actually stop being done.

No matter the level we reach in our career, we are not responsible for everything and we are not capable of doing everything. The illusion that telling others what needs to be done would take simply too much time, or that what lands on our desk is something we need to take care of in person, is just an excuse to postpone that difficult conversation, that report that requires your full attention, that speaking engagement you always wanted to take.

It is resistance.

By being unwilling to delegate tasks that others could reasonably help with, we fail to make progress on the important or tricky things that only we can do.

How to have a good day, Caroline Webb

P.S.: This is as true as it gets even for managers who still cling to completing tasks instead of taking responsibility for the development of their team.

Dangers and threats

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We are constantly scanning our environment for dangers and threats. And we end up seeing dangers and threats pretty much everywhere. Even when an actual danger or threat is not there, or is still just a hint of what might later become a danger or threat.

The wisest way one can spend their time is by exploring and understanding their own triggers, so that the auto-pilot can be kept under control.

Therapy and meditation are two great ways to do just that.

Overwhelmed

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What is your tactic when you fell overwhelmed?

Those moments when you cannot think clear, you have tens of forces from different places pushing on your skulls, and the amygdala is about to take control with your favourite version of fight, flight or freeze?

Moments like that happen many times throughout the days, and it is often enough to take a few deep breaths to get back on track. Ideally, you might take a full 5-minutes break to unplug. But that is not always possible, and so just breathing in and out for 4-5 consecutive times, focusing on the breath itself or on your belly going up and down, can do magic.

Give it a try.