Category: leadership

We know what to do

Fabrizio1 Comment

We know what to do in most situations.

We know that when we approach a potential customer, we should focus on their story, not on our.

We know that when we plan which channels to use for our marketing tactics, we should be selective and carefully craft our messages.

We know that culture eats strategy for breakfast, and that employees are attracted by purpose and leadership, and that losing a talented person is much worse than losing the manager that made them quit.

We know we should be nice with each other, do not fill our calendars with appointments, be respectful of other people’s agendas, avoid showing up late and being distracted by our phone when somebody is sharing something with us.

We know a great deal of things. And yet, most of us fail at the same very things.

There are different reasons why this is so. It’s certainly partly due to our laziness. Partly it’s the fact our focus is misplaced. Partly it’s because we get carried away and we lose control.

And the biggest part, is us feeling we are special. There’s certainly something we know and that all others before us have missed. Our situation is unique, and we will succeed where everybody else has failed. This time, this time only, it is going to be different, and the rest of the world is going to see what I am, where I am at, why it’s important and follow me blindly.

Open your eyes. That is (almost) never the case. If you just stick to doing it, you will still end up a whole lot better off. And people around you will as well.

What’s your El Capitan?

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I’ve recently been very fascinated by the story surrounding the free solo ascent of El Capitan by Alex Honnold. The story is now a documentary (which I still have to watch), and you can also find interesting details in this very genuine TedTalk and in this interview.

Part of the fascination, for me at least, is because I am completely afraid of heigths. And part is because it is a great example of how to live ordinarily an extraordinary life (or challenge, or meeting, or presentation, or … fill in the blanks for what seems insormountable to you).

  1. Pick your field – Climbing is not very popular, free soloing (or any of the other tens of niches in climbing) even less. Alex Honnold did not choose climbing to be popular, yet while nowadays we tend to reach for the masses (internet giving us the illusion that everybody is around the corner), his story and that of the other climbers he mentions tell us that to be satisfied with what you do, it is not necessary to be a mass celebrity.
  2. Prepare – It was a long preparation, it took years for him to convinve himself he was ready for the task. The discipline he put into this is outstanding, there was no improvisation, no unexpected turns. In his TedTalk, he tells of his other out of the ordinary free solo ascent (Half Dome) and how it felt unsatisfying as he did not know how to prepare for such a challenge, and then decided to take a different route from the planned one right while he was climbing to the top. The preparation this second time was so meticolous that at some point he and a friend went down El Capitan to remove some stones from a crack to prevent them from falling during the climb and potentially hitting and harming somebody below. He thought of everything, so much so that when it was the right time, he just had to do it.
  3. Focus – He spent the week before the ascent in almost complete isolation. He disconnected from the World, as he wanted to be 100% focused on the task ahead. No distraction, if that’s the most important thing that is going to happen to you in a career (even though you’ll have more in the future, and you probably won’t risk to die if you make a mistake).

We can all learn by watching great successes, even those so clearly beyond our reach. Just make sure you pay attention to what comes before, not after. Again, journey not destination.

A word of encouragement

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If you are about the long term. If you put in the work, every day, relentlessly, even though there is no guarantee of success. If you care about the way things are done more than you care about the things done. If somebody watching you does not change the way you behave. If you spend time trying to understand what went wrong and how you can make it better, before you jump on to the next thing. If you are focused, fierce in giving attention just to the things that matter. If you know that fear is just another way to understand what you should do. If you feel that others around you are living through the same pains and joys, excitements and disappointments, ups and downs, and that for this reason they deserve the same respect on their path as you do on your. If you believe in your resources and know that, eventually, things are going to turn out just fine.

It is going to be difficult.

The World we live in does not respect the way you see it. And that is ok. Just go ahead, grind, continue, persist, do not give up. We need you.

Be the one who moves and turns

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Had an interesting conversation with a colleague today, that quickly turned into a topic that I consider very important nowadays. For our personal life, for our professional life, for our life as human beings walking on the World.

I feel the public discourse is flattening to a very dangerous extent.

It’s not only a matter of polarization, it’s mainly a continuous repetition of the flaws of the other side. It might seem, on the surface, that there is a desire to change the other’s opinion or behaviour. But what I find appalling is that actually there is more of a desire to just repeat what was said yesterday, in an endless loop that leaves everybody in the same place they where before. There is no progress. Because the target of what is said is increasingly the people that have our own same opinion.

We have stopped trying to understand what led us here. We are just repeating mantras (“fake news” vs “racist”, “America first” vs “globalism”, “tremendous economy” vs “devastating inequalities”) that resonate with the people that are already on our side. Be it because we need to sell more, because we need to keep the votes, or because we need to constantly re-affirm our self and group identity.

So, the question is: do we care?

If we don’t, that’s fine, we are on the right path.

If we do, I have an idea to share. It’s not mine, I believe it is a Buddhist idea, and I have heard it narrated by Pema Chödrön.

She tells the story of two people that meet, and start talking. They talk about what they see, the World they know. One is facing the ocean, and tells about the greatness of it, the beauty of its blue, the smell of the water. One is facing a forest, and tells of how dense it is, how tall the trees are, how incredible it would be to venture there. They soon end up arguing, as they cannot find a common perspective. Until the one facing the ocean moves to the side of the other and turns. And then, they start describing the forest together.

If you do care. If you seek change. If you want to move past the terrible impasse that is sucking up our future. Be the one who moves and turns. Find the other’s perspective.

P.S.: I am sorry I could not find the exact quote and link from Pema Chodron. I might have changed the characterization a bit, but I am confident the one I shared has the same underlying meaning. Should I find it, I will make sure to update this post.

 

 

The price for perfect

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If you are called up a stage unexpectedly, you do not have to be rehearsed and perfect. Olivia Colman gave a great example of that last night at the Academy Awards ceremony. Her acceptance speech is genuine, authentic, empathic. It leaves a mark.

The same is true for every time we expect to be called up. If we work towards perfection, if what we care about is ironing out all the kinks, if that becomes the focus of our job, chances are we are putting energy, care and effort on the wrong thing. And most of all, we lose in personality.

(For a great example of an official speech delivered in a far-from-perfect fashion, this keynote from 2015 by Elon Musk is as personal as it is inspiring).