Don’t tell others what you think they feel about you.
Do not second guess them.
Do not assign to them hidden motives.
Do not make yourself the main character in their own masterpiece.
Tell them what you feel about them instead.
Category: culture
No matter what
I wanted to buy a shirt for my son. It was a red one, with one single word on it: “Uff!”. I said it was perfect for him, since he is always complaining and he is never happy with what he is given.
He ended up buying another shirt. An orange one with a dragon on it.
The point being, people rarely want to hear what you think is better for them, who you think they are, where they should or should not focus for their development.
Instead, they want to tell you about what they think. And they want you to find it in your heart to abandon your prejudices and support them no matter what.
Don’t ruin the break
If you are about to go on holiday, keep in mind that the job is still going to be there when you are back. That there are very few things that need to happen before you leave, that there are no things that need to happen when you are away, and that there are, again, very few things that need to happen as soon as you are back. In general, businesses move slow. And all the pressure we feel is often self-imposed. Don’t let that ruin your break.
If a colleague is about to go on holiday, keep in mind that the job they are doing will still be meaningful when they are back. That there are very few things that need to happen before they leave, that there are no things that need to happen when they are away, and that there is no reason in the world why it should be a good idea to send their way just a little more pressure, a tiny sudden deadline, an anxiety-inducing and unrequested meeting invite on their last day. Don’t let this ruin their break.
I am going on holiday. And I’ll probably won’t be writing for a while.
That’s ok.
Simple things
Do not complain about your privilege. As in, “I am busy”, “I have to deal with too much politics”, “I worked over the weekend”, and so on.
Do not bitch about peers and subordinates. As in, “This person is driving me mad”, “That guy is never doing their job”, “I never wanted to work with them”, and so on.
Do not undermine a plan that is not your favourite one. As in, “That was not my idea”, “We are going to do this instead”, “We will do it, but..”, and so on.
Simple things that every manager should be aware of.
Existential
Most fears, nowadays, come from within.
There’s no existential threat in acknowledging that a colleague is doing a great job, yet we worry that our work might be underappreciated.
There’s no existential threat in telling a difficult truth, yet we worry that we might be breaking a relationship forever.
There’s no existential threat in welcoming an outsider in the community, yet we worry that it might alter the balance of things and force us to review our take on the world.
There’s no existential threat in being wrong, yet we worry that others will think less of us.
We need to find a way to comfort ourselves without harming those around us.
You've got this 