Author: Fabrizio

The beast

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How much of the past are you taking into today?

Will you be saying ‘hello’ to the person who rejected you years ago, calling now with a new opportunity?

Will you be asking ‘what’s next?’ when a friend you have not talked to in years will want to patch things up?

Will you be open to take that chance, despite having failed it before in similar circumstances?

If we can label what’s going on, look the beast in the eyes, move past regrets, judgement and might-have-beens, our day will be much lighter.

There’s no need to overcomplicate things with burdens that serve no purpose in our life.

Precaution and preoccupation

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In certain circumstances, when much is at stake, when it’s a matter of life or death, when you are trying to contain a problem that could have grim repercussion, overreacting can be the right choice. It’s about protecting something that is dear, and it is ok to be overly precautious.

Being preoccupied, on the other hand, is rarely the better thing to do. It’s a distraction to keep us busy, a way to delay important decisions, a focus that engulfs our mind and that we do not need.

Precaution is action that keeps the problem at bay. Preoccupation is debate that makes the problem big enough so that nothing else exists.

Precaution is (it should be) the language of governments, authority, leadership. Preoccupation is the language of media, populism and masses.

Choose carefully which one to utilize as you go about this difficult time.

Appease

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More often than not, acting to appease the demand of someone else will end with the person we are trying to appease demanding more.

What are you going to do with the new request? And with the following one? And with the one that will, inevitably, come after that?

You need to be able to stand by your decisions because they make sense to you, because you have evaluated different options and assesed that’s the best course of action, because that’s what you would have done if nobody would have asked.

Intentionality is the only thing that matters.

Reliable narrator

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Most of our time is spent thinking about what was, what could have been, what will be.

As our days go by, we are rarely in the moment. Doing. Feeling. Breathing. This increases our sense of dissatisfaction and incompleteness. Bit after bit, we grow more unhappy.

Meditation is not a practice to become better or more satisfied. It is a training in the habit of being here and now, of appreciating what is going on around us and within us, of being in charge of our attention and focus.

It’s the only way to be reliable narrators of our own story.

Harsh

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The harshness of your ways is merely fear and pain.

Fear of something that might happen, of something that might repeat itself, of losing control, of being subject to judgement, of not meeting others’ expectations, of being hurt, of having to face the unknown.

Pain for something that has happened in your life, for not being able to reciprocate a feeling, for a scar that has not healed yet, for the too much effort you are putting in keeping things under your will, for the lack of rest and tranquillity.

If you find the courage to speak of fear and pain, you immediately take their power away. Your relationships will benefit from it greatly.