Author: Fabrizio

Rapport

FabrizioLeave a comment

Just because you say it needs to happen, doesn’t mean it will happen.

If you give somebody an urgency, you better frame it in a way that makes sense to them or to the greater cause. Important is subjective, even when you are close, even when you work in the same team, even when there is a generic agreement on high level targets.

A sure way to inspire action is to build rapport first. Trust is what makes things important for a group of people. Not because somebody says it, but because we have a common understanding and we are in this together.

Just because it will happen, doesn’t mean you have changed their minds.

Of course, if you repeat that something is important enough times, people will eventually go ahead and merely do it. And next time you will have to ask again, repeat again, exhaust them again.

A sure way to inspire change is to sustain rapport. Dedicate time to it, expand it, nurture it, heal it, prioritize it, protect it. Not because somebody wants something, but because you care.

A different way

Fabrizio2 Comments

When you feel like you want to lash out at somebody.

Get aggressive, forget about manners, say it as it is. Ask a provocative question, answer in a passive aggressive tone. Send an irate reply, or no reply at all. Take it public, escalate it, raise the flag.

There is one question you should ask yourself first.

Why?

It is often so that, when that emotion takes us, we want to act to get it out, to relieve ourselves, to trade a long-term effect for a short-term boost.

If it is change we want, we have to find a different way.

Old friends

Fabrizio1 Comment

If you are a manager and you are starting at a new company, it is great that you have already some key people from your past experiences that you would like to bring onboard to fill key roles and take important responsibilities.

As you do that, be mindful of two things though.

The people in the company might feel like they are missing an opportunity. How are you going to address that? What is the rationale behind you hiring new people you know versus promoting somebody who has already done a great job in the organisation? Do you have a process in mind to assess competence and eventually make a decision?

And even most importantly, by doing that you are accepting the idea that what worked previously at another company will also work this time around. Is that realistic or is that wishful thinking? How much does it have to do with you wanting it to be that way? Are you going to make sure you can keep your eyes open to the unexpected and the unknown?

Harsh

Fabrizio2 Comments

You can resort to raising your voice to establish a power dynamic in an argument you are having, but you will not make the argument go away.

You can rush telling your piece before the other person has even done speaking, but you will not appreciate what the other has to say.

You can shout to get the attention, but you will not keep it to change minds and behaviours.

Relationships are never built with harsh manners and rude self-centrism.

And it is relationships you want to build, throughout all your life.

On hold

Fabrizio1 Comment

When we hear, read, or consume content, all we get is often about us.

Our fears, expectations, experience, knowledge. What we think about the author, about the medium, about the source. The day we are having, the day we are not having. Likes and dislikes. How confident we are today, what we have been told yesterday, where we are going tomorrow.

In order for us to learn, we need to be able to put all that on hold. To make it about the one delivering the message. To suspend our reaction and just be hearing, reading, consuming content in the moment.

If we do not that, everything will just be a confirmation of what we already know.