Whatever your stressor is, make the effort to confine it.
If it is work, shut it down with your laptop.
If it is family, leave it at home when you go for a walk.
If it is the news, gift yourself time when you are free of them.
One way or the other, don’t let the stressor creep into your spaces of restoration and regeneration. Little by little, the stressor will shrink and often, eventually, even go away.
Building solid boundaries is a responsibility.
There is no behavior that you can promote without embracing it fully.
Telling your team that they should not work the weekends while you are working all weekends is not going to be effective.
Telling friends that they should call you more often while you never call is not going to be effective.
Telling your kids that they should not lie while they see you lying every day is not going to be effective.
We have a lot of power to influence others’ actions, we are just not confident enough to acknowledge that.
The way you behave with people is at least as important as the words you speak.
The story you tell is at least as important as the subject you are narrating.
The marketing you deliver is at least as important as the product you have come up with.
The point is, there is appearance and there is substance. Pretending one does not exist just because it makes you uncomfortable is heavily limiting your own possibilities to succeed.
Make the effort to align them instead. Make behavior and words, story and subject, marketing and product go hand in hand. Bring one at the same level of the other. Make them support each other and be in harmony.
That’s when the feeling of uneasiness will just go away.
Take a complex project. Break it down into smaller parts. Put those parts on a calendar, while being reasonable about the time and effort each one will take. Start doing and go back to the calendar often to keep things on track.
Complexity will look a lot less scary.
It is the fantasizing, the preoccupation, the chaos, the distractions that get in the way of delivering.
Get back ownership of your capability to deliver.
Reconsider your decision, particularly if you have taken it under emotional stress – I was mad when I said that.
Acknowledge the relationship – I do care about you.
Say that you are sorry and ask for help to move forward – I am sorry and I would like to hear how you think we can get past this impasse.
Nobody said it was easy.
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