It’s urgent.

I want it this way.

Go get it done right now.

All parents know these things work. They trigger a sense of fear towards authority (actual or supposed). People want to avoid troubles – most of us do most of the time, at least. And so, forcing the hand, threatening, raising the voice. It all works.

Until it’s out of the way.

Until you leave the room.

Until next time.

Until they do not work anymore.

Compliance is by definition short term. People do what they are told for as little as needed to comply. It does not stick, and the next time you’ll have to raise the level of the threat to achieve the same.

So, if it’s change you are seeking, you should pursue it differently. Knowing the other person, their motives, their purpose, their values, and trying to fit what you are asking them to do within their frame. That’s a great place to start.

Of course, this takes time and effort. And in a moment in which everything is important, day after day, when should you start taking others seriously, listening to them, feeding into their self-motivation rather then imposing your agenda? When?

That’s up to you. It’s a choice, and you should stop hiding.

You can make it work.

Today is a great time to start.