Out of the nest

Shit happens, right?

We are all familiar with this way of saying. We have used it or heard it or written it o read it many times, in many different circumstances.

What we seem to not be very familiar with, though, is the actual situation of shit happening. We go about our lives as if we are seeking perfection, we convince ourselves that we can control every tiny detail, and eventually we are completely unprepared for the thousands of times when things don’t go according to plans.

We ought to learn to let go.

Not because we don’t care. Not because we have given up. Not because we turn our attention to something else.

But because we do care, we are committed, and we want to succeed.

To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.

Pema Chödrön

Busy

If you tell others often that you are busy – and genuinely would prefer not to – understand two things.

First, delegating is not about telling others what to do, it is about trusting them with important problems to solve. It’s not about “I need this report by tomorrow” and all about “how and when do you plan to report on the findings?”.

Second, there is no one single thing that will dramatically impact the outcome if it is done today rather than tomorrow. Urgency is fake. Success is achieved by doing something consistently and over a long period of time. Big projects or tasks that pop up at the last minute in your calendar are not going to drive results.

Now go out and practice this.

Right

Search for the right job. Search for the right partner. Search for the right people. Search for the right customer. Search for the right team. Search for the right time. Search for the right opportunity.

And it turns out that “right” is determined by the work you put in.

So instead of searching for an ideal, build your own ideal from the ground up.

It takes awareness, relentlessness, and acceptance.

It is worth it.

High five

We navigate most conversations with the following question in mind.

What can I say so that the other will like me?

And even when we interpret the other’s will perfectly, we never leave the conversation with a feeling of satisfaction and achievement.

We should instead head into the conversation with an answer to the following question.

What can I say so that, at the end, I will give myself a high five?

Crisis #2

There are moments of crisis in every group, in every team, in every company.

And if you lead, you ought to try and turn the crisis into an opportunity to strengthen the bonds.

Confirm with your people what the purpose is. The vision, the long-term game, the utopia you are heading towards despite the temporary setback.

And then agree on what the tactics are, what you are going to do today that’s going to take you all closer to the purpose.

The two parts go hand in hand, and that’s where most leaders fail. They either move from one tactic to the next, in the hope to find a purpose. Or they use tactics that are taking them away from the purpose, with the excuse of trying to address the crisis (“we will do what is right once the crisis is over” is not a very effective narrative).

When purpose and tactics are aligned, here are three important questions to answer to keep everyone informed and cared for as you get to it.