Tag: trust

A different way

Fabrizio2 Comments

When you feel like you want to lash out at somebody.

Get aggressive, forget about manners, say it as it is. Ask a provocative question, answer in a passive aggressive tone. Send an irate reply, or no reply at all. Take it public, escalate it, raise the flag.

There is one question you should ask yourself first.

Why?

It is often so that, when that emotion takes us, we want to act to get it out, to relieve ourselves, to trade a long-term effect for a short-term boost.

If it is change we want, we have to find a different way.

On hold

Fabrizio1 Comment

When we hear, read, or consume content, all we get is often about us.

Our fears, expectations, experience, knowledge. What we think about the author, about the medium, about the source. The day we are having, the day we are not having. Likes and dislikes. How confident we are today, what we have been told yesterday, where we are going tomorrow.

In order for us to learn, we need to be able to put all that on hold. To make it about the one delivering the message. To suspend our reaction and just be hearing, reading, consuming content in the moment.

If we do not that, everything will just be a confirmation of what we already know.

A story for your career

Fabrizio2 Comments

Owning the narrative to your career (and life) has a double positive effect.

First, you get to control how people look at your profile, see you professionally, and eventually what they hire you for. There are many marketing experts, MBAs, sales reps, customer success managers. When you differentiate from the bulk and stress what makes you unique, you make a statement. People will listen if you are consistent enough.

Second, it is a great way to remember what is good and tune down what is bad. Every role, every task, every project has ups and downs, risks and opportunities. If you frame what you did within a narrative that is your own, the good will naturally emerge, and it will serve an higher purpose. Your own.

Would you take it?

FabrizioLeave a comment

Are you into leadership because of the power, the role, the status, or because of the challenges, the responsibility, the people that allow you to lead?

It seems like a trivial question, and the answer is probably, for most, somewhat in the middle.

But I can’t count the leaders who stop at the prestige and forgo the difficult part.

What if we would start presenting promotions into leadership roles in a different way? And so, instead of saying.

You did well so far, here is a promotion, a new title, and a salary raise.

We would say.

You did well so far. Here is a chance to take this team and make it awesome, to listen to their ideas and ensure the ones that make sense get developed and the others are put on hold (perhaps forever), to raise their engagement with the company and their role even in the face of bad news – especially in the face of bad news. Do you take it?

Managers do really need to start thinking at leadership in a different way, otherwise it will continue to be the professional graveyard of people with monetary and status ambitions.

Outbursts

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you can delay your actions for just a few minutes, hold off your come back until the next break, take a couple of deep breaths, put the computer aside late in the afternoon and sleep on the issue.

Then you will find yourself focusing on the content rather than the emotion.

And when you do that, you will realize that people respond to content remarks much better than to emotional outbursts.

Someone has modified your work without letting you know. Emotional outburst: that is unacceptable. Content remark: I like this and that, I preferred the previous version here and there.

A colleague has sent you a demanding email that overwhelms you with requests. Emotional outburst: I am busy, I cannot do any of this. Content remark: I am working on a project, and I can help with this and that.

Your manager has mentioned your role is going to change focus in the coming months. Emotional outburst: here we go again, it seems every time I get good at something you raise the bar for me. Content remark: I see why this happens, and I am confident I can do this and that, while perhaps we might want to hire somebody to take care of the other aspect.

Emotions are important. They tell us what we care about, what triggers us, what makes us uncomfortable, what we can and cannot accept. Where we draw the line.

Yet, when we act out of emotions, we lose opportunities to make the change we want to see.

Focusing on content is something we can all get better at.