If you ask for help, the worst thing that could happen is that the person or the group you are asking to will not be receptive and you will not get any help. Your situation does not really get any worse.
It’s the same as having money to invest with only the potential gain to risk. Worst case scenario, you walk with your initial sum.
We often avoid asking for help for the fear of being judged, of letting others know we do not know, of feeling inferior and not being able to give back. And yet the benefit is so vast we should not think twice.
That does not mean our pain, despair, fights, passions are all the same, indistinct reasons why we feel miserable. It means that most likely others can relate to it. Can understand. Can empathize. And it also means that we are not alone, not in our suffering.
So, the first thing to do is talk about it. Reach out to a friend, a family member, a doctor, somebody in this deep sea of misunderstanding we can relate to. Talk honestly and don’t hold back.
And the second thing to do, arguably the most difficult, is to listen when we are on the receiving end of a request of help.
Understanding what is happening within has one sole purpose.
Gentleness.
When it becomes clear where your actions and reactions come from, what’s behind the patterns you keep falling in, why it is so difficult to be a certain way and do a certain thing. Then you can relax.
That is not the same as giving up, or finding excuses. Actually, the moment you accept the trigger for what it is (a thought, a situation, a feeling, a sensation) and refuse to label it as “me” and “reality”, is the moment you can open to proactivity. Good thing will come from it.
How much do you have to insist before your customers say “yes”?
My bank sends me a text every day to tell me there’s a message for me in eServices, regarding changes to Terms and Conditions. I should go there, read it and approve it.
I still haven’t done that.
Facebook sends me daily updates of what my friends are sharing on the platform. I should re-install the mobile app and do not miss any of it.
I still haven’t done that.
LinkedIn has a new offer every other day to make me go back to Premium. I should take it, as it is unprecedented, and enjoy all the benefits (?) of their premium offer.
I still haven’t done that.
While navigating the net and Facebook (desktop), I get targeted with ads of cars that are nowhere close to the league of cars I am interested in. I should really check it out, and perhaps consider a lifestyle change.
I still haven’t done that.
Dumb repetition can get annoying pretty quickly. It breaks trust and it lowers the expectation of you actually having something interesting to say. And perhaps, like Bart and Lisa, eventually you get a “yes!”. Does that sound like a victory?
If you have to repeat yourself too much before inspiring action, you have either the wrong message or the wrong audience. Making it louder won’t help your case.
You've got this 