We navigate most conversations with the following question in mind.
What can I say so that the other will like me?
And even when we interpret the other’s will perfectly, we never leave the conversation with a feeling of satisfaction and achievement.
We should instead head into the conversation with an answer to the following question.
What can I say so that, at the end, I will give myself a high five?
Feedback is such a popular topic nowadays that managers are pretty much forced to give some.
And so, they resort to “good job!” – or the equivalent “great job!”, “terrific!”, “fantastic work!”.
If you are getting that, take the time to make your manager’s life a bit more challenging. No need to worry, you are just asking them to do their job.
Ask them.
What did you find good in what I did?
What do you think could have been better?
How would you have managed that situation?
How does this relate to our high level goal?
Where do I grow from here?
There are moments of crisis in every group, in every team, in every company.
And if you lead, you ought to try and turn the crisis into an opportunity to strengthen the bonds.
Confirm with your people what the purpose is. The vision, the long-term game, the utopia you are heading towards despite the temporary setback.
And then agree on what the tactics are, what you are going to do today that’s going to take you all closer to the purpose.
The two parts go hand in hand, and that’s where most leaders fail. They either move from one tactic to the next, in the hope to find a purpose. Or they use tactics that are taking them away from the purpose, with the excuse of trying to address the crisis (“we will do what is right once the crisis is over” is not a very effective narrative).
When purpose and tactics are aligned, here are three important questions to answer to keep everyone informed and cared for as you get to it.
You can’t just let disengagement be. You have to manage it.
It’s easy to manage motivated people, people you like to work with, people who are talented and constantly deliver good work. It’s more challenging to manage those who are disillusioned, who have have little ambition and feel out of place, who end up meeting all requests with silence and a nod.
And you can’t just let them be. Because disengagement spreads and it touches everyone it meets.
It’s likely that disengaged people will end up leaving. It’s your responsibility to manage the transition. To ensure they get the best deal out of it. And to ensure that they don’t leave disengagement behind.
Sure, there’s plenty of content online.
No need to remember anything, because everything is just a search away.
You can, with some intent and dedication, do a decent job at most things.
And I anyway believe that enrolling in a course and earning a certificate is still worth it. At least, for what really matters. For what can get you closer to your purpose.
If for no other reason, for the people you get to know that are going through a similar journey, willing to share what they are trying and you have not yet thought about.
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