Share and play back

Help people by sharing what others think, and they will find a way to interpret that and apply it to their lives.

Help people by playing back what they think, and they will find a way to figure out themselves and be consistent in their lives.

On the other hand, help people by telling them what others mean or what to do, and they will just ignore, even when you approach them with the best of intentions.

Cookies in a jar

When you are looking for a culprit, remember there’s always someone who ate the last cookie in the jar.

Of course, that jar was full at some point. And the person who ate the last cookie might be the one who ate them all, the one who ate most of them, the one who ate some of them, or the one who just ate that last one.

Blame is assigned with great ease to those who are most exposed.

But if it’s reasons you are after, if you want to avoid the jar getting empty sooner than you expected the next time you fill it with your favourite cookies, you have to look a bit farther, a bit deeper, a bit more carefully.

Surprise

You have got to give yourself the chance to be surprised.

Not because you are unprepared. Not because you had not thought about something enough. Not because someone is trying to get ahead of you. Not because you have lost the bigger picture.

Just because people are surprising, and you got to give them credit for it as well as allow yourself to feel positively about it, without feeling in any way diminished.

Finding meaning

We can’t keep assessing productivity in terms of quantity.

The amount of emails we reply to.

The number of meetings we have scheduled.

How many conversations we are in.

How late we are leaving from work.

The quantity of leads, presentations, or projects we deliver.

Productivity needs to be a function of a goal we set and of the actions we take towards that goal.

If within a measure of work (an hour, a day, a week) we complete something that takes us closer to the goal, that’s where we find meaning.

The rest is just a poor proxy. Just faked busyness.

Try

Tomorrow you can try to:

  • Avoid an argument
  • Let go of an opinion that’s causing friction with colleagues
  • Close a project that’s not delivering results
  • Tell somebody they are right (and perhaps you are wrong)
  • Give away an idea that you know you will never have the resources to implement
  • Not indulge in a habit that’s consuming your time
  • Leave the mobile phone in the other room
  • Reply to messages only at dedicated times
  • Stop working at 2pm
  • Compliment something that they have achieved
  • Say that you are sorry about something that’s causing bad feelings

If you do, take note of how it is. And if it is good, try to do it the day after as well. Perhaps try to add another one from the list, or from your list. Expand from there.