Tag: team work

Strength

FabrizioLeave a comment

Next time, try this.

“I am sorry, my mistake, I could have … . Let’s move on.”

It works beautifully in any situation in which there’s friction. It unlocks empathy (most likely you’ll get a “no worries” from the other side), and it allows the conversation to move forward.

It’s better than blaming the alarm clock, the traffic, the person who’s there to serve, the colleague who’s trying to help, the boss who’s learning the ropes, the partner who’s going through your same difficulties, the bystander who seems to not get it.

And it’s true.

There’s a variety of circumstances that causes what is going to happen. Chances are there’s something you might have done to avoid causing yourself trouble.

Recognising a mistake is not the same as putting an additional burden on your fragile identity. A mistake does not mean you are bad, mean, stupid, malicious. Quite the opposite, in fact. “I am sorry” means you are present enough in the situation to care about taking the next step. It’s about owning what’s happening and being ready to shape it going forward.

“I am sorry” is a strength.

Cut

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When you are short on money.

When you are depleted.

When you simply have too much to do.

When there’s an emergency.

When your plans are at risk.

What do you cut?

A couple of things to consider.

Be in a position in which what you cut is up to you, as much as possible. Having somebody or something imposing cuts might well feel as just an additional burden, and you’ll have to cut more very soon. Make it an active decision, fight for it if necessary.

And of course, every cut sends a signal. On what you care about, what you stand for, what is important, the type of culture you want to promote and be part of, the legacy you want to leave behind.

By all means, cut. And do it conscientiously.

Making decisions

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There are two fundamental flaws in how companies make decisions.

The first one has to do with the amount of information available to make the decision. A balance is needed between decisions made with zero information (“based on my opinion …”, “our manager wants it this way …”, “I strongly believe …”, “it worked at my previous company …”) and decisions made in the pursue of perfect information (“I want to schedule another meeting with …”, “let’s delay this until we get to know …”, “could you please review this one more time?”).

The second one has to do with the duration of the decision taken. The world changes, the information we have available changes, the players change, technology changes. And yet, organisations find it incredibly difficult to say “we were wrong”, or even “let’s try this instead”.

Of course, the first one leads to the second. If the decision was made with zero information, it was a personal decision, and that person (and often the people close to that person) will find it very difficult to change course along the way. If the decision was made after a long process, in search for perfect information, everybody involved got so fed up with going through the details over and over again that most likely they will close an eye and pretend all is ok, rather than start back from scratch.

The trick is having the right amount of people involved in making the decision (make it three to five – never one, never ten) and well defined parameters on which the decision is taken, with checks along the way to see if any of those parameters have shifted.

In all cases, have a process.

Alone

FabrizioLeave a comment

The problem with attacking those who don’t see the world as you do, with fostering an environment where outrage is rewarded, with speaking against those on your side who attempt to be moderate, with listening to others in wait for misstep, with glorifying factions and vilifying commonalities.

The problem with all of this is that soon enough you’ll end up being alone. Because when you are there, it is much easier to extend the behaviour to all those that, sooner or later, will disappoint your perspective rather than revert it to welcome different views down the line.

Even though today it might feel different, even if it might feel there are thousands who are on your side. Are you prepared to be alone tomorrow?

Boundaries

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How far can you go before you do something about that power dynamic you really don’t like? How much can you wait for changes to happen after you have spoken up? How beaten can your motivation be before you actually stop showing up to do important job?

How much is too much?

In every situation we set boundaries, imaginary limits beyond which something significant will have to happen. Boundaries are what tells us what we can accept and what not, how far we are willing to go, how intimate with others we are open to be. They are a deep representation of who we are and who we want to become.

Boundaries can change over time, but we should be conscious about them at any given time, and flex them with great care. Because there’s nothing worst for self-esteem than allowing others to walk on boundaries back and forth, repeatedly, day after day, until we pretend to stop caring about where the boundary actually is.

Boundaries matter. Perhaps allow some space when you set them. And once that is done, you ought to protect them with all you’ve got.