Search for the right job. Search for the right partner. Search for the right people. Search for the right customer. Search for the right team. Search for the right time. Search for the right opportunity.
And it turns out that “right” is determined by the work you put in.
So instead of searching for an ideal, build your own ideal from the ground up.
It takes awareness, relentlessness, and acceptance.
It is worth it.
We navigate most conversations with the following question in mind.
What can I say so that the other will like me?
And even when we interpret the other’s will perfectly, we never leave the conversation with a feeling of satisfaction and achievement.
We should instead head into the conversation with an answer to the following question.
What can I say so that, at the end, I will give myself a high five?
Feedback is such a popular topic nowadays that managers are pretty much forced to give some.
And so, they resort to “good job!” – or the equivalent “great job!”, “terrific!”, “fantastic work!”.
If you are getting that, take the time to make your manager’s life a bit more challenging. No need to worry, you are just asking them to do their job.
Ask them.
What did you find good in what I did?
What do you think could have been better?
How would you have managed that situation?
How does this relate to our high level goal?
Where do I grow from here?
Looking at things from another person’s perspective does not mean you are giving up. It does not mean you are wrong. It does not mean you agree with them. It does not mean that you are going to change your mind.
It merely means that you are open to accept that the other person is living through different circumstances, has a different set of prioritites, has different feelings, fears, and thoughts. It means you are ready to appreciate how variegated human behaviour can be. And it means that you care.
It’s not a loss. It’s the first step towards building empathy.
What if you are not it?
What if you are not the best choice for that role you so much want?
What if you are not the outstanding writer you have worked so hard to become?
What if you are not the father of the year?
What if you are not the person that will lead the company out of the crisis?
What if you are not the one who has a solution for every problem?
We rarely plan for failure, but at some point, we ought to consider the possibility that we are simply not it. Perhaps, we are not the main character, after all. What happens when we realize that?
There are still a lot of things we can be. We can be the guide, the supporting role, the cameo, or the director. We can still play a part and also decide that, after all, it is not the movie we want to be part of.
A narrow approach will limit our peripheral view.
And there’s so much more out there that’s waiting to be appreciated.
You've got this 