Tag: self-improvement

Noticeable

FabrizioLeave a comment

You don’t notice your kids growing. There is no day when they are noticeably taller than the day before, no moment when they are noticeably smarter than the moment before, and for most developments, there is no exact time when you can say “here is when that happened!”.

Yet, they grow. Sometimes you stop and look back at old pictures, and you wonder when that happened. But they grow. You think back at how clumsy they used to be on their bike and now they speed past you. They do grow. You realise that now they are going out with their friends on their own while they used to ask you to take them everywhere.

The point is, not all growth is noticeable.

Actually. There is almost no growth that is noticeable, no progress that is material in short spans of time, no achievement that happens from one day to the next.

Growth is a process.

It’s frustrating at times. But you can’t hurry it up.

Cherish it, instead.

Zigzag

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you feel the pressure of a deadline, a lack of results, a performance review, and you still manage to let things be, that’s when you are setting yourself up for long term success.

It is the day-to-day work, the long-term commitment that set you up for the outcome. It is not the last minute urgency, the sudden opportunity, the finalisation of all minor details.

Act in the present, believe in what you did in the past, and take what’s coming tomorrow as a continuation of your journey. Zigzagging without purpose is not the solution.

You assume

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you start thinking that someone is out to get you, that the decisions they are making are personal and against you, you are making a lot of self-centred assumptions in a split second.

You assume that they know of you.

You assume that they know what is good and bad for you.

You assume that they think of you when making their own decisions.

You assume that they understand the depths of your value and skills.

You assume that they prioritise your circumstances over theirs.

You assume that they care enough to actually bother.

You assume that they are the villain to your own personal script.

Of course, some of these assumptions might be on target. But even just making them, even though you do not know you are making them, consumes a lot of your energy and resources.

Assume instead that they are doing their best for themselves and for the interests they represent.

It almost never is personal. And even when it is, you are far better off assuming it is not.

As narrow as possible

FabrizioLeave a comment

Frustration and discontent grow in the space between what you say you will do and what you actually do. In the space between how you say you feel and how you actually feel. In the space between what you say you value and what you actually value.

Keep that space as narrow as possible.

It’s the road to joy.

The best fit

FabrizioLeave a comment

The bravery and determination we use when advising others should always be kept in check by the fact that when we are in a similar situation we tend to act much more cautiously and pragmatically.

A great advisor is one that helps you walk through the different options and choose the one that is the best fit for yourself.