Tag: self-improvement

Don’t ruin the break

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If you are about to go on holiday, keep in mind that the job is still going to be there when you are back. That there are very few things that need to happen before you leave, that there are no things that need to happen when you are away, and that there are, again, very few things that need to happen as soon as you are back. In general, businesses move slow. And all the pressure we feel is often self-imposed. Don’t let that ruin your break.

If a colleague is about to go on holiday, keep in mind that the job they are doing will still be meaningful when they are back. That there are very few things that need to happen before they leave, that there are no things that need to happen when they are away, and that there is no reason in the world why it should be a good idea to send their way just a little more pressure, a tiny sudden deadline, an anxiety-inducing and unrequested meeting invite on their last day. Don’t let this ruin their break.

I am going on holiday. And I’ll probably won’t be writing for a while.

That’s ok.

At all

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There’s not only joy. There’s not only pain.

There’s not only butterflies. There’s not only dullness.

There’s not only raising. There’s not only rising above.

There’s non only failure. There’s not only success.

There’s not only together. There’s not only alone.

And actually, it turns out that most of what we remember is because of the illusions we have made out of the one and the other.

We don’t know extremes. At all.

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
Looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and they snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all

Joni Mitchell, Both Sides Now

Unlucky

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You are not unlucky. You are not going through a bout of bad luck. You are certainly not a failure.

Things, both positive and negative, happen all the time. And you need to keep your sense open to be able to perceive the good ones as strongly as the bad ones.

Luck is important, but it can’t be the explanation you give to what’s going on around you.

Suffering

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The purpose of life is not to eliminate suffering. It is not to reduce it either.

The purpose of life is to get acquainted with it.

So that you can recognise it, manage it, and enjoy all the little moments when suffering is not there.

Taking control

FabrizioLeave a comment

When a friend doesn’t reply to a message, a colleague treats us with distance, or somebody is not as kind as we’d wish them to be, catastrophism swoops in. It whispers tales of abandonment and rejection.

It’s a distorted thinking that breeds anxiety, nudging us towards assuming the worst about others’ behaviour. It tempts us to construct elaborate narratives of abandonment or rejection. And it fails to consider alternative explanations such as busyness, personal difficulties, or simply a momentarily distracted mind.

In the end, what catastrophism does is putting at risk the very same connection we would like to preserve.

Pause. Take a breath. Challenge any claims.

It’s a sure way to start taking control of your thoughts.