Fragile

We want to be strong, but we are often fragile.

A compliment makes us feel great and unique, a critique turns us into useless and pitiful beings. The very same thing in two separate moments might give us completely different emotions. We don’t put trust in ourselves enough, yet we are ready to follow some total stranger who appear to have achieved what we apparently desire so much.

We are fragile, and perhaps the real strength is in figuring out how to navigate our fragility without being overwhelmed by it.

Compliment yourself

How often do you compliment yourself?

For something you have achieved, for not giving up, for an argument you have avoided, even just for waking up in a difficult moment.

We seek recognition from others, yet that is fragile and volatile.

Compliment yourself instead, every time you know that you deserve it. It will build confidence for the long term.

What have I done

One huge misunderstanding is that by being a decent person you have the right to have it easy.

That’s why many find it difficult to find a meaning when something bad is happening. What have I done? Why me? Isn’t it unfair, after all that I have committed and given?

But one should be kind, supportive, helpful, available, loving, not because of what they get in return, but because it’s the right thing to do. And because it prepares much more effectively to manage both good and bad times.

By the end of this week

What’s one thing you can get done this week?

Perhaps it’s something you are waiting feedback on, something that got stuck in a process, something you are waiting to kick start in the new year, something you have never found the time for, something that would require help from somebody else.

Will you commit to get it done this week? Will it be done by Sunday evening?

Small commitments we take with ourselves, and the developing capacity to deliver on them, make all the difference in the world.

Forceful

You can’t pretend to know what’s better for others. Not even your dear ones.

And you can’t pretend others will come to you when they need something. Or express that in a way that makes what they need clear.

What you can and should do, instead, is to be aware of and vocal about what is better for you. And be adamant about it.

It might actually be so that it will help others figure out their own stuff. Or at least, if you are the person that will help or not.