Tag: self-improvement

A word of encouragement

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you are about the long term. If you put in the work, every day, relentlessly, even though there is no guarantee of success. If you care about the way things are done more than you care about the things done. If somebody watching you does not change the way you behave. If you spend time trying to understand what went wrong and how you can make it better, before you jump on to the next thing. If you are focused, fierce in giving attention just to the things that matter. If you know that fear is just another way to understand what you should do. If you feel that others around you are living through the same pains and joys, excitements and disappointments, ups and downs, and that for this reason they deserve the same respect on their path as you do on your. If you believe in your resources and know that, eventually, things are going to turn out just fine.

It is going to be difficult.

The World we live in does not respect the way you see it. And that is ok. Just go ahead, grind, continue, persist, do not give up. We need you.

I choose the journey

Fabrizio8 Comments

What’s more important, the journey or the destination? Or better, where should you put your focus and efforts?

No doubts, both journey and destination are important. You need to know where you are going and the way you get there can be transformative.

Yet, I choose the journey.

The fact is, the destination is a dream, something you want to achieve, something you might or might not be able to get to. If all you care is that, if you place it at the center of your thoughts, you end up living a possibility. And you might chose to cut corners, hurt people, lose yourself. Anything to make it real!

The journey is now. It is reality, it is the work you put in, the daily waking up and doing, the pleasure and the pain. It is a more dynamic concept, so much that in the end you might find yourself in a totally unexpected place, another destination than the one you initially planned for. The journey ends up shaping the destination and how you feel about it in so many ways that it is almost impossible to leave it in the background.

The journey is who you are, really, and you should open your eyes to it, nurture it, keep it close.

Complaints

Fabrizio1 Comment

If you got something that bothers you, and you would like to complain with your friends, colleagues, boss, partner. First, consider the following questions.

Is there anything I can do about it?
Can I think of a way to make it better?
Can I contribute to the discussion to come up with a solution?

If the answer to these questions is no, then the “something” is probably out of your reach, and you’d probably better not to complain about it in the first place.

There’s a caveat. Abuse, in any form, in any situation, is never acceptable, and you should always bring that up and seek help.

In all other cases, do act only if by doing so you are seeking support and resources in overcoming the situation. Complaining without an idea, a plan, sounds a lot like complaining for the sake of complaining. In general, people don’t like it.

 

Be the one who moves and turns

FabrizioLeave a comment

Had an interesting conversation with a colleague today, that quickly turned into a topic that I consider very important nowadays. For our personal life, for our professional life, for our life as human beings walking on the World.

I feel the public discourse is flattening to a very dangerous extent.

It’s not only a matter of polarization, it’s mainly a continuous repetition of the flaws of the other side. It might seem, on the surface, that there is a desire to change the other’s opinion or behaviour. But what I find appalling is that actually there is more of a desire to just repeat what was said yesterday, in an endless loop that leaves everybody in the same place they where before. There is no progress. Because the target of what is said is increasingly the people that have our own same opinion.

We have stopped trying to understand what led us here. We are just repeating mantras (“fake news” vs “racist”, “America first” vs “globalism”, “tremendous economy” vs “devastating inequalities”) that resonate with the people that are already on our side. Be it because we need to sell more, because we need to keep the votes, or because we need to constantly re-affirm our self and group identity.

So, the question is: do we care?

If we don’t, that’s fine, we are on the right path.

If we do, I have an idea to share. It’s not mine, I believe it is a Buddhist idea, and I have heard it narrated by Pema Chödrön.

She tells the story of two people that meet, and start talking. They talk about what they see, the World they know. One is facing the ocean, and tells about the greatness of it, the beauty of its blue, the smell of the water. One is facing a forest, and tells of how dense it is, how tall the trees are, how incredible it would be to venture there. They soon end up arguing, as they cannot find a common perspective. Until the one facing the ocean moves to the side of the other and turns. And then, they start describing the forest together.

If you do care. If you seek change. If you want to move past the terrible impasse that is sucking up our future. Be the one who moves and turns. Find the other’s perspective.

P.S.: I am sorry I could not find the exact quote and link from Pema Chodron. I might have changed the characterization a bit, but I am confident the one I shared has the same underlying meaning. Should I find it, I will make sure to update this post.

 

 

Perspectives

FabrizioLeave a comment

In Vietnam, the Vietnam War is known as the American War.

We can spend time trying to explain others that our worldview is correct and theirs is wrong. Perhaps eventually, exhausted, they will agree. And yet, that will not change the way they view things.

What we can more efficiently invest resources on, instead, is understanding that our appreciation of the World is very narrow, as is everybody’s. The more different and diverse ideas we are exposed to, the less narrow it will become. The wiser we will grow. The nearer to each other we will feel.

Why not starting today?