Tag: self-improvement

A different decision

FabrizioLeave a comment

Our experience dictates how we are going to react to what happens around us.

A look, a word, a smile, or the lack of them. A failure, a comment, a blank page, a missed opportunity, a bad day, a mistake, a moment of anger, a lack of control, a fall into a negative habit, an uncontrollable impulse to do something that’s going to hurt us and others. All of this, and much more, can trigger distructive loops that we helplessly follow despite them being well-known and familiar. We spiral down.

In this situation, it takes effort to get back control. It takes presence, awareness, will. And when we have that, it is possible, in the moment, to make a different decision.

To answer an insult with kindness.

To see a failure as an opportunity.

To approach the moment of anger as temporary.

To interpret the laughs as unrelated to your worth.

To counter detachment with passion and warmth.

It’s a quality that can be trained, and the reward is having a spectrum of possibilities to respond to what goes on around you.

It’s worth a try.

Miniscule

FabrizioLeave a comment

There’s so many miniscule things we allow to much power to.

Our working day could be disrupted because we are asked to give a 10-minutes presentation in front of the whole company.

Our self worth could be jeopardized because somebody, caught up in their thoughts, has treated us unfairly or given us a harsh response.

Our self esteem could disentegrate because a person we have never met or talked to before is telling us they do not like our work.

Our relationship could go through a rough couple of weeks because our dearest one didn’t have time to answer our message the other day.

Putting things in perspective, relating them to the greater scheme of things, is a necessary skill for anybody who wants to make a change. And this question is still very powerful to achieve just this.

From here to there

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you deviate from your path, the one that is right for you (to each their own), it’s seldom because of a swerve. More often, it’s due to the accumulation of many small turns, almost imperceptible. That’s the feeling you get when you suddenly look around and all you see is unfamiliar and unsatisfactory.

How did I get here?

If you are on a trajectory that gives you purpose, you have to invest in staying on course. It does not happen automatically, it requires effort and will, and the capability to say no, over and over again. Shortcuts, fads, occasions, distractions, are around every corner. Staying on track is the whole job.

Not the only one

FabrizioLeave a comment

You are not the only one who had a bad day.

Not the only one who’s been rejected, just when they thought this was the right time.

Not the only one whose heart beats when they are about to leap.

Not the only one who needs to juggle many things just to keep the boat afloat.

Not the only one who had a great idea that’s been stifled by bureaucracy and resistance.

Not the only one who’s losing the motivation and barely does their job.

Not the only one who’d wish they’d be loved more, appreciated more, thanked more.

Not the only one who chokes when all the eyes turns to them.

Not the only one who’s already behind on their new year’s resolutions.

Not the only one who’s never gonna write that book.

That doesn’t mean it shouldn’t hurt.

It just means you are not alone.

Waiting for others

FabrizioLeave a comment

How much of your work is waiting for others to do something?

Work is global, interconnected, relational, shared. It’s true today and it will be even more true in the future.

Yet waiting never corresponds to adding value. So, if a good part of your work depends on others doing something, you have a huge problem that you need to address.

On the other hand, many use others as an excuse when they fail to deliver, when they are unsure on what to do, when they fear their work might be wrong, when they have something more important to take care of. This also needs to be addressed, but it’s easier (not simpler though).