Tag: self-improvement

A strategic choice

FabrizioLeave a comment

Why do people rarely talk frankly to each other when tension arises?

Time inflates difficult situations where two or more people feel resentment towards each other, yet it seems people float through such circumstances without taking action. They talk to other colleagues, families, friends. They feed their anxiety and frustration by crafting a defensive narrative. And they continue escaping a direct confrontation.

That’s how our mind is wired. Clearing the air is difficult, it takes effort and commitment. In the moment, when the time comes to choose between going ahead and speaking to the other person or ignoring the problem and carrying on with the day, the brain will always, instinctively, go for the latter. Because that’s what keeps us safe.

Of course, it is a short-term safety. And in most cases it’s not that we are really in danger of serious consequences should we decide to, once and for all, have that chat.

Difficult conversations are a strategic choice. Have them often, with intention.

Two sons

FabrizioLeave a comment

We spend more time being worried about unlikely events than we spend preparing for concrete possibilities. And we spend more time being busy with things that matter little than we spend actually doing work that is important.

Worry and busy are two brothers. And they are both sons of resistance.

Be aware they are not getting any closer to achieving your goals.

Single-tasking

FabrizioLeave a comment

If there is one thing we can learn from moments of crisis is the importance of focus.

We can only be effective if our attention is on one thing at a time. It is not possible to work as you are helping your kids through their day. It is not possible to enjoy time with your son if all you think about is the email you will have to send later in the evening. It is not possible to engage in a meaningful conversation with your partner if you are surfing the news at the same time.

Different interests and pursuits have their own time, and you should become accustomed to isolating your attention as you dedicate resources to each one of them.

Multi-tasking is a myth, rarely a necessity, never a skill.

We should get rid of it.

On a journey

FabrizioLeave a comment

When your focus is on self-awareness and self-understanding, there’s a risk to end up feeling lonely and isolated. Partly because it’s yourself you are focusing on, and partly because it is difficult to relate what we feel and think to others (“Am I the only one who feels or thinks this?”).

The importance of those around you and of peer-support cannot be underestimated. Go on this journey with people you value and care about.

Get to it

FabrizioLeave a comment

The World is not in lack of talent or great ideas. It is in lack of commitment.

Commitment to show up even when there’s no one cheering. Commitment to dedicate your attention to one thing only. Commitment to pursue your purpose in face of adversity. Commitment to do the work even after a series of bad days. Commitment to self and mutual understanding. Commitment to not having an opinion on every frivolous thing.

This is not a lecture, it is rather an awakening.

Let’s get to it.