Tag: self-improvement

A matter of doing

FabrizioLeave a comment

The difference between reading of examples and setting the example is a matter of doing.

It is not a matter of knowing. Knowing more, knowing more accurate information, knowing the right people, knowing how to get ahead, knowing all of the shortcuts and hacks.

It is not a matter of being. Being better, being more educated, being in the right circle, being on time, being perfect, being more capable.

It is not a matter of having. Having more resources, having the slack necessary to innovate, having the greatest talents, having all the degrees, having a flawless background.

All these things can help, and if you have them all the better.

But in the end what matters is putting up with the tediousness and repetitiveness of doing, and sticking to it even when something new knocks at your door, even when no one is holding you accountable, even when it hurts.

Support

FabrizioLeave a comment

Some people might give you carte blanche, but you have more chances when it is support you ask.

Support happens when you have a plan, a target you want to achieve, some ideas on how to achieve it, and you need somebody to be there with you, along the way. Support is somehow conditional. Not conditional on you getting there, rather conditional on you staying the course.

Carte blanche lets you wander, support gives you focus. Always be mindful what you are asking for and whom you are asking to.

Sprinting

FabrizioLeave a comment

Most of us set a target and then sprint towards it.

The fact is, what matters it that you get to the target, and in most cases how fast you are has very little importance. Sprinting is a distraction, it can deplete resources, it is wasted focus. And it hinders experiencing the journey, depriving the target of most of its meaning.

Sparkles and glitter

FabrizioLeave a comment

As long as you keep running from boring, repetitive, uninteresting, unrewarding, uneventful, average, your chances of actually mastering something are going to be very limited. There’s a wrong perception that success is equivalent to sparkles and glitter, but that only comes after (if at all), and it does not usually lasts for very long.

Find ways to get accustomed to the 99% of your life and suddenly you’ll be a much better human being, parent, partner, leader, or anything else you aim to be.

Do not want and cannot

FabrizioLeave a comment

Sometimes we mistake what we cannot do with what we do not want to do.

For example, we might say we do not want to jump in the water or dance or give that presentation in front of the whole team, while what we actually mean is we do not (yet) know how to do that. Or perhaps we feel unsure about our skills. It is not a matter of “do not want”.

Other times, we mistake what we do not want to do with what we cannot do

For example, if somebody offers a new responsibility, we might say we cannot take it as we are too busy, but certainly that is not the full story. We are most likely not very interested in the responsibility offered, or we do not want it because it might expose some of our weaknesses. In any case, it is not a matter of “cannot”.

“Do not want” and “cannot” are often used interchangeably, but they are well distinct.

“Do not want” expresses will, power, decision, acceptance. It is a brave decision, and a necessary one in many cases.

“Cannot” expresses an opportunity, incompleteness, desire, potential. It is a step on a long road, and you will get there eventually.

Using them for what they are enables our clarity and helps us focus on what matters (and of course, drop what does not). Do it with intention.