Tag: self-improvement

Out of the room

FabrizioLeave a comment

It is difficult not to be bothered by a fly in a closed room.

For as much as you force yourself into a state of flow, the fly will make its presence noticeable incessantly, and eventually you will be left with two options: either be distracted by it – shooing it away, having your pressure and heartbeat rise, calling it names, trying to catch it -, or open the room to let it out and continue your activity.

There are two points to this short and conventional story.

The first is that, more often than not, we choose the distraction over the solution. It feels easier, we don’t have to stand, it gives us a prompt and lasting excuse not to do the work (well), and it feeds an illusion of time passing.

The second is that if we want to do the work (well), we first of all need to keep flies and other distractions out of the room where the work is done.

It is that simple.

Superficial

FabrizioLeave a comment

How much information do we consume daily? And out of that, how much information do we understand, evaluate, put into our daily practice, and eventually use to improve?

We have never been more exposed to facts, theories, news, practices, frameworks.

We have never been more superficial.

Training empathy

FabrizioLeave a comment

We must say “I am sorry” and “thank you” as many time as it is needed to strip the expressions of any trace of shame, defeat, capitulation. We must say that often, over and over again.

Even when we are not fully convinced we should.

Even when the other person’s behaviour does not fully justify it.

Even when there are tens of additional things to take into consideration.

It is one of the most effective ways to train the empathy muscle, and start seeing those around us as human beings that live outside of our narratives.

Give it a try.

Happiness

FabrizioLeave a comment

No one is responsible for your happiness but you.

Not your boss, who is delaying your promotion until next year.

Not your partner, who is distracted by their troubles and can’t always give what you would like.

Not your kids, who have been fussy lately, always trying to catch your attention as soon as you start doing something that matters.

Not your friends, who cannot commit to a vacation together for any reason they choose to share.

People around you are important and crucial in supporting your efforts, sharing your values and worldview, making you learn and grow as a human being. Yet, the decisions they make and the actions they take are not the reasons why you are (or are not) happy.

No one is responsible for your happiness but you.

And you are responsible for no one’s happiness but yours.

With this in mind, focus.

The first time

FabrizioLeave a comment

We are rarely as nervous and preoccupied as when we attempt something for the first time. Yet, in principle most of us are ok with the idea of failure when trying something new.

The first time is a learning opportunity, a chance to put in practice some of the theory we have read about, a way to tweak the recipe and make it ours. It is the stepping stone to every rewarding activity and we should approach it with some healthy excitement and a smile.