Work relationships

To build relationships in a work environment, particularly when you have leadership responsibilities, consider the following three things.

  1. Expectations, that is where what people expect of you meets what you expect to do.
  2. Communication, that needs consistency (i.e., frequency and repetition) and truthful content (i.e., say when something is wrong).
  3. Participation, that is a process that combines both a way for others to participate in your work and a way for you to set boundaries about what will get done.

Where are you struggling the most?

So tempting

It is so tempting to think you have the right solution.

To take things in your hands and ask of others that they do as you tell them.

To schedule just one more meeting and go through what everybody is doing, assign blame, share opinions, drive action.

To comment on everything as it is happening and inspire urgency.

To check, and double-check, and triple-check, and check just one more time.

To put people, projects, tasks into boxes and then complain that things are slow, siloed, not properly communicated.

It is so tempting to take ownership and control.

And it is the exact opposite of what you should do.

The greater good

Many use the greater good only when it matches their own good.

They want to avoid changing their ways.

They aim at pushing back a difficult conversation.

They prefer not to confront their own fault.

And so, they claim that it is for the good of the whole, that they cannot do otherwise, that it’s what makes the most sense.

It’s a cheap excuse to preserve their own comfort.

Easy or not

“That’s something we can very easily do.”

Perhaps it’s true, but the point is not whether something is easy or not. The point is what’s happening that’s keeping people from doing it.

Is it a lack of clarity on what matters?

Is it that you are overreaching and micromanaging?

Is it a lack of competence or confidence?

Is it poor resources?

Is it overwhelming expectations?

People are not inherently lazy or irresponsible, so if something easy is not getting done, ask yourself what you can correct in your own doing, before starting to look outside and push the target farther away.

Unfulfillment

There’s a time for praise and celebration, and there’s a time for requests, feedback, concern, criticism.

When the two get mixed, the enthusiasm quickly dies down and it just leaves a sense of unfulfillment and near-accomplishment.