There’s I did not have time to do it. And there’s I didn’t do it.
There’s You sent the invite too late. And there’s I didn’t come.
There’s The team is not supportive. And there’s I am not delivering.
There’s They don’t care about me. And there’s I am committed.
One is the path to stagnation. The other is the path to continuous growth.
To take the latter, you need ownership.
You know what you have to do, and there are three reasons why you are not doing it.
Some of that might be real, some of that might just be tricks your mind plays to keep you within your comfort zone, free from risks and safe.
But you know what you have to do.
So, understand what is keeping you from doing it and work around it.
Does the devil know he’s the devil?
Elizabeth Madox Roberts
That person you think is being mean to you, probably sees themselves as fair and balanced.
Because nobody thinks they are at fault. Nobody thinks that what they are doing is not the right thing to do in that particular time and place. Nobody wakes in the morning saying they will be the bad guy today, or they will hurt somebody, or they will make decisions that will put hundreds out of a job.
Most things merely happen. And while we like to think that there’s an hidden agenda behind them, that somebody’s masterplan is making it more difficult for us to be happy, that our antagonist is out there to get us, that’s just the delusion that comes from us being the main character to our own story.
Most things merely happen. Or at best, they are the consequence of years of inertia, of a series of actions that somebody has done without even thinking twice about them, of a lack of ownership or imagination in somebody’s writing of their own story.
Nobody can be really blamed for that.
When was it exactly that I became . . . this? By small degrees, I suppose. One act presses hard upon another, on a path we have no choice but to follow, and each time there are reasons. We do what we must, we do what we are told, we do what is easiest. What else can we do but solve one sordid problem at a time? Then one day we look up and find that we are . . . this.
Joe Abercrombie, The Last Argument of Kings
You have made a decision, now be bold when sharing it.
Don’t look for excuses – as in we would not do it, but ..
Don’t give up the ownership – as in I did not agree, but ..
Don’t delay further – as in let’s try first, then ..
Don’t beat around the bush – as in let me tell you of all the reasons why ..
Don’t be smug about it – as in you’ll see the results this will bring ..
You have a decision, not many do that, go for it. Sure, you can change your mind later, consider new information, eventually go in a different direction. But for the time you are in the decision you have made, be bold and strong.
It’s a good part of making the decision a success.
Why do we reject compliments?
Why can’t we take in positive comments, appreciations, praises?
Why don’t we make of a great review as big a deal as we do of a terrible one?
We need to be able to use compliments to shield us from stress and anxiety, to write with them the soundtrack to our days, to hold them close while we build our own identity.
Say “thank you!” the next time someone compliments you. Let it sink in, make it yours. Take it.
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