Tag: resistance

Quarreling

FabrizioLeave a comment

Why are you so involved in this quarrel?

It is an honest question to ask yourself, particularly when things stall and no progress is made towards a resolution.

More often than not, we discuss to feed our ego.

Of course, we believe our perspective is the right one (the people we are discussing with do believe theirs is too). But deep down, we do not know. And experience should tell us that minimum variations to a plan, to a campaign, to a project, do not return major fluctuations in the outcome under most circumstances.

So, why are you so involved in this quarrel?

Consider the scenario in which you win, and see if the impact on the context you are seeking to affect would be bigger than the time, the energy, the foregone opportunities you are investing right now.

Making a step back and giving way is probably the most productive thing you can do. That’s a way to cultivate the focus you need to change the world.

All the difference

FabrizioLeave a comment

Discussing a plan, an idea, a project, a strategy with somebody who’s on a different agenda is challenging.

To push it through, you might be tempted to do one or more of the following.

Make it about the lack of alternatives – i.e. if we don’t do this, we will do nothing.

Make it about the very reason why the group exists – i.e. if we don’t do this, we will disappear.

Make it about something that is happening right here, right now – i.e. if we don’t do this, we will lose the opportunity.

Make it about the will of somebody in power – i.e. if we don’t do this, they will be disappointed.

These are shortcuts. Their main effect is to plant the seed of resistance in those listening. Depending on the circumstance, you might get the desired outcome (the plan, the idea, the project, the strategy will be executed). Yet eventually it will be a bare minimum outcome, something you yourself will be unwilling to put forward.

An alternative approach would be the following: here is what we want to achieve, how do we go about it? When you give people a problem instead of a thing to do, you’ll unlock their creativity and expertise. And they will be committed to delivering their best work, something you yourself will be proud to put forward.

It makes all the difference.

What happened next …

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.. is not always newsworthy.

After you have landed that job you so much wanted, often the most exciting part is showing up every day to do your best.

When you make a resolution to change an unhealthy habit, most of the time peak adrenaline is in the moment you make up your mind, and it’s followed by days, weeks, months of sticking to it.

Decorating your new apartment might give you a kick, and then you’ll have to navigate the day after day of your life inside it, uneventful for the most part.

It’s not always easy to be at ease in the average routine, yet that’s what most of our lives are made of. If you want to be an agent of change, that’s a lesson better learned fast.

Open your story to imperfection

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What happens when you fail the story you have so patiently and consistently crafted?

We all have ups and downs, yet some downs have the power to make us question the image of ourselves we have built. Perhaps we think of us as calm and patient, then we act irrationally and hastily. Perhaps we think of us as bold and innovative, then suddenly we are cautious and scared. Perhaps we think of us as caring and supporting, then we catch ourselves in a bitter and malicious mindset.

The beauty of stories, though, is that they are open enough to accept and welcome new behaviours without bending.

We still are calm and patient, but something unusual happened that made us act in an irrational and hasty way.

We still are bold and innovative, but with that new piece of information we felt it was worth it to be cautious and even scared.

We still are caring and supporting, but that person hurt us deeply and now we are in a bitter and malicious mindset.

If we accept this, it’s going to be easy to get back on track.

If we don’t, the thing we were not expecting will become what we expect of us next.

Global threat

FabrizioLeave a comment

A global threat should not be a reason to point fingers, to upsell, to market, to do brand awareness, to interrupt attention, to retract within our ideologies.

It should be an opportunity to come together and together bring the situation back to normality.

Can we do it?