Tag: relationships

The lives of others

FabrizioLeave a comment

We are experts on how to live the lives of others.

We know exactly what others should do, say, wear. We know how they feel and what motivates them. We tackle their problems better than if they were our own. We plan, argue, debate for them. We know everything, we hear everything, we understand everything.

And when it is our turn, we are stuck.

We are wonderful spectators and mediocre actors.

Because being under the spotlight is never easy. It is not for us – and indeed, we come up with many excuses when that happens -, it is not for those around us.

Start here to develop empathy.

Start here to get going.

Superior

FabrizioLeave a comment

Acting as if you are superior – because you know more, because you are more integrated, because you are more skilled, because you are righteous – will most likely achieve little.

Leveraging your (supposed) superiority to elevate others, on the other hand, has the power to change behavior, improve lives, and spread around you. Of course, the action assumes that you do not feel superior at all. Few have the capabilities to take this stance.

Imperfect

Fabrizio1 Comment

You are probably not the strongest.

You are probably not the smartest.

You are probably not the most fearless.

You are probably not the nicest.

You are probably not the greatest.

You are probably not the most positive.

And yet you are here. With the responsibility to make something strong, smart, fearless, nice, great, positive happen.

Work with your limits and don’t let them hold you back.

The world needs you.

Imperfect.

For all the parties

FabrizioLeave a comment

Can you ask somebody to help you?

Can you put your ego aside and recognize that somebody else might have a perspective on a matter that would actually improve your own understanding?

Can you step on your fear and embarrassment and ask a simple question that might unlock tremendous progress?

Can you suspend your judgment and assumptions and open yourself to listening to what the other has to say?

Can you accept that somebody would care as much as you do?

Help is the most precious thing there is, for all the parties involved.

We do not leverage that enough in business and organizations.

Holding back

FabrizioLeave a comment

Fear can hold you back, and it can hold back those who look at you for guidance.

As parents, more often than not our own fears fuel the “don’t do that”, “don’t go there”, “that is not safe”. Our kids won’t climb the tree, won’t walk to the grocery shop by themselves, won’t try that stunt with their bikes, won’t go in front of the whole class to present an idea. They are marginally safer, infinitely more anxious and fearful.

And since parenting and leadership are strongly linked, you look at managers and you see how much of their fears dictates their behavior and that of their teams. Better play it safe, please upper management, don’t say when things are wrong, praise everybody, and keep communication to a minimum.

Fear is an important feeling when we label it as such. When instead we avoid it, pretend it’s not there, morph it into reality, then it becomes a blocker for our progress and for the progress of those we care about.

It’s just not worth it.