Tag: relationships

Comfortable

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Change is hard, complaining is easy.

That’s why we default to the latter when things get tough. For as much as we are unsatisfied with the current situation, it is a situation we know, we are familiar with, we understand. By complaining, we keep it under some sort of control and we normalize it.

Complaining is not bad per se. It can help us look inside and understand what it is we do not like. Of course, the problem starts when complaining becomes a constant state. We complain about work, the boss, about our relationships, the kids, our friends, our family, the government. That’s when we need to find the courage to get out of the comfortable spiral and actually do change.

It usually goes, change yourself first, then try to change the situation.

Not the other way around.

The more, the less

FabrizioLeave a comment

The more people are asked to give opinions on a project, the more urgent it is and the less important it is.

The more people are cc’ed in an email thread, the more urgent it is and the less important it is.

The more reviews and approvals a piece of work needs, the more urgent it is and the less important it is.

The more involvement in a project from upper management and executive team, the more urgent it is and the less important it is.

The more a decision is changed (in a short span of time), the more urgent it is and the less important it is.

Urgent is about fear, uncertainty, stress, distraction, pretense.

Important is about strategy, focus, long-term, doing, control.

When something is important, set the stage and clear the way. If you are doing your job right, somebody will own it and see to it till the final step.

From a good place

FabrizioLeave a comment

You can be vulnerable by sharing your negative feelings, and you can be vulnerable by sharing the positive ones as well.

Tell that you feel happy, accomplished, in love, serene, successful, at peace, lucky, grateful, loved, accepted, at ease. You will be more exposed than you have ever been, and still be in a state of mind that will help you deal with the exposure and familiarize with it.

Training to be more vulnerable does not have to start from your deepest and darkest emotions. Go from a good place instead. It’s not necessarily easier, surely quite as effective.

Not quite yet

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you give people space, they will grow to fill that space.

Give them a project, a question, a challenge, a responsibility, a team, and more often than not they will rise to the occasion. That’s how growth happen, after all. You might be spending time reading, attending classes, completing certification, and that is of limited value until you test what you have learned on the field.

For most organizations, though, the rule is not quite yet. It is never the right time to give space, as there is always something else that gets in the way.

The end of the quarter.

The launch of a new product.

An important acquisition.

The flattening of the curve.

The upcoming report.

What really gets in the way is fear. What if things will not turn out as planned? A better question, of course, would be: when do things turn out as planned? And an even better one: what is the worst thing that could happen?

If you can’t manage this type of uncertainty, you are a lazy manager in a lazy organization.

I am sure that is not what you want.