Tag: relationships

A difference that matters

FabrizioLeave a comment

There are two different mindsets with which you can approach a request for help.

One defaults to figuring out how the act of helping does impact one’s own routine.

Does it mean I will have to wake up earlier? Does it mean I will have to postpone my planned holiday? Does it mean I will have to renounce a relaxing evening watching my favourite TV series?

The other defaults to caring about how the act of helping does impact the other person’s life.

The two mindsets often have very similar outcomes. Because when somebody asks for help, people in general tend to give help.

The difference though is in how you feel about helping – and whether or not you will seek to help more in the future – and in how the other person feels about you helping – and whether or not they will seek help more freely in the future.

It is a difference that matters.

Indispensable

FabrizioLeave a comment

With some colleagues, things click right away. You trust them, they trust you. They are great to be around, deliver on their promises, they are competent and you have that feeling that you can learn a lot from them.

With some colleagues, it takes time for things to click. And that’s when things get difficult, because instead of relying on them, you create more work for yourself and other colleagues. Instead of giving them responsibilities, you start micro-managing or ignoring them. You become critical of everything they do and eventually loose any interest in even sitting down with them to have a chat.

When this is the challenge, do over communicate instead. Set ground rules and check that they still stand frequently. Be vocal about the discomfort, ask about their discomfort, and get to know them outside of what they do in their working hours.

That’s how you make yourself unique and indispensable.

This is it

FabrizioLeave a comment

What is joy?

What is commitment?

What is love?

What is friendship?

You can take these questions from the top-down. You take a definition – the one your parents gave you, the one your culture preaches, the one your past taught you – and you try to find what it is that take you as close to it as possible. As these are ideals, it’s difficult to seek them and make them real. It’s usually disappointing.

You can also take these questions from the bottom-up. You look at your life – what is given to you, what you are taking with your skills and attitude, what you give out to others – and label the individual items with the term that best fits.

You say, “this is joy” after a genuine laugh. And you seek more of it.

You say, “this is commitment” after some hard work. And you seek more of it.

You say, “this is love” after holding your partner in an intimate embrace. And you seek more of it.

You say, “this is friendship” after a 2-hour chat with your heart wide open. And you seek more of it.

This is it.

You are dealt some cards and it’s up to you to make of them whatever you pursuit. Change will follow, and it begins with you noticing that you already have the ideal life.

On your own

FabrizioLeave a comment

Investing in a relationship is more than merely being there with kindness when the other shows up.

It is about reaching out, it is about preparing and anticipating, it is about giving and taking, it is about having difficult conversations, accepting criticism, opening yourself to a view that is not yours. It is about making that extra effort to be still there, with kindness, when the other is not around.

It takes time, it takes effort, it takes resources.

But if you do not invest in relationships, you will be left on your own.

Fix my issue

FabrizioLeave a comment

Three reasons why this is a great customer service interaction.

05:46 PM | Me: Hi! We made a mistake when trying to change the credit card linked to our account. Basically, we put the wrong e-mail address, and now I have paid for a fully new account instead of payment for the account we already have. Messy, eh?

05:46 PM | Bot operator: If your scheduled payment failed, please, refer to attached Help article for instructions on how to re-process it.

05:46 PM | Bot operator: [App: Article Inserter]

05:46 PM | Bot operator: Did that answer help, or are you looking for something else?

05:46 PM | Me: Talk to a person 👤

05:46 PM | Bot operator: Sure thing! Ahrefs typically replies in under 4m.

05:48 PM | Person from Ahrefs: Hi there thanks for reaching out. Which email address did you pay by mistake to?

05:49 PM | Me: The original account is with *emailaddress*, I paid now with *emailaddress*

05:49 PM | Person from Ahrefs: I will check with our billing team to help move it over to the correct account

05:50 PM | Me: Thank you. Is there something I have to do?

05:50 PM | Person from Ahrefs: nope, please wait for 2-3 hours for the change to be complete

05:50 PM | Me: Thank you!

06:07 PM | Person from Ahrefs: Hi there, the switch is done. Kindly check *emailaddress* and confirm? Please let me know if you have any further questions.

  1. The person helping actually read the first message in the chat, avoiding to ask me to repeat the problem or other silly information – as so often is the case.
  2. In two instances, the service did underpromise and overdeliver – first for the waiting time, then for the time it would take for the change to be effective.
  3. The interaction was straight to the point and focused on having my problem solved – no how are you?, no hope you will have a sunny day!, no I am sorry to hear about your issue.

All in all, a billing issue was solved in 21 minutes, and I got exactly 4 minutes of interaction with a chat bot and a customer service rep.

Note: a couple of bonus points for the tool that Ahrefs is using, that first suggested a relevant article from their knowledge base in the attempt to fix my issue without interaction, then allowed me to download the full conversation without having to ask anybody.