Sharing feelings is tough, uncomfortable, often untimely, and slow.
But when somebody comes to you with their feelings, all you have to do is be thankful that they think you are a person with whom it’s safe to share.
Don’t break the trust. Everything else can wait.
We are quick to forget where we have been. The fears we’ve had, the pain we suffered, the challenges we had to face, the corners we had to cut.
And in that tiny space between where we were and where we are now we build up the judgement for those who have yet to complete their journey.
If only we could extend a helping hand instead.
There’s what we hope it will happen.
There’s what we hope it won’t happen.
And often we hold on to the former to get motivation, inspiration, excitement. Or we let the latter drag us down, feed our fears, control our life.
But we forget that there are also a whole lot of possible in-betweens. Situations that do not match the one or the other perfectly, and are a mix of positive and negative.
That’s what we need to accept.
Life is in the middle.
We can’t control how others will react to us, but we can control how we behave in their presence. What and how we say and share things, how we respond to their requests, what we do when they tell something unexpected, how we are present and listen.
We over-stress about their reaction and pay little to no attention to how we can influence that. We play the part of the bystander when we actually are (one of) the main character(s).
It’s no guarantee that the other person’s will do what we hope for. But we will at least feel infinitely better.
As we grow up, we get used to listening to others.
Parents, peers, friends, colleagues, bosses, partners, relatives, lurkers, fans, and haters.
All of them with their opinion of how it should be, what we should do, why we should worry, where we should go next.
But as we grow up, we also need to remember that part of that growing up is owning our own opinion. Choosing our path, unapologetically, and living according to our feelings, values, purpose.
We cannot outsource our life.
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