Tag: relationships

A matter of choice

FabrizioLeave a comment

With 2.41 billion monthly active users and its stock trading at the high-end of its 52 weeks rolling average, Facebook is not going to take responsibility for the damages it does to society and democracy. Businesses tend to change when things go bad (we all do, to be honest), and despite some slaps on the wrist for its malpractices, keep your expectations low on the company making it its priority to modify what made them rich.

Regulators and politicians, on the other hand, are late in taking actions to avoid Facebook and others to keep wreaking avock in our communities. The former are chasing a change in society and business that they clearly struggle to understand, and operating at national level they are more concerned with making sure home companies are competitive than with doing what’s longly overdue. The latter, well on all sides they have embraced the platforms using all of the possible subterfuges and tricks they could learn to make themselves more visible, more likeable, more approchable, and eventually more votable.

There’s still a missing part in this picture, and it’s the 2.41 billion monthly active users. That’s us. The ones that use Facebook, the ones that create content for the platform keeping it alive, the ones that endorse their policies and business model whether we like them or not, the ones that cannot leave because, you know, “I have all my pictures there”, or “there’s that group I want to follow”. It’s once again a matter of what is fair and what is convenient. Until we keep choosing convenient, it’s pointless to storm social media channels every time something terrible happens.

Someone wants it this way

FabrizioLeave a comment

When looking at organisations, I am often baffled by the amount of damage that gets done in the name of (supposed) harmony.

Considering the number of companies that list innovation among their core values, that should almost never be the case. You cannot be creative and innovate if all you care about is pleasing someone, making sure they feel important, executing on poor plans just for the sake of not making a fuss. Diversity and conflict should be at the core of every enterprise. And while it is important to maintain the conversation civil, by the time we enter the work environment we should all be on the same page: if somebody has a different idea they are not implying they are better than us, neither they are jeopardazing our professional worth.

“We are doing this because someone wants it this way” is a very poor way to serve your organisation.

Arguing

FabrizioLeave a comment

Before investing time, energy, relationships in an argument, it is advisable to spend some time understanding three things.

What is the impact of the outcome? It seems many times discussions and arguments arise for matters that do not move the needle: having the brochure with a blue or a red background, using this or that word, wanting an opportunity back that is already gone, and so on. You might have a strong preference for one or the other, and yet you know deep down the outcome is not going to move numbers and cultures, so consider dropping the argument altogether.

What are the facts I base my opinion on? When a discussion starts, it’s most likely about opinions and sentiments: I like this better than that, I think that banner would be more effective than the other, I have a feeling our customers would not understand us. Of course, this is valuable, and yet if you cannot anchor it to real life experiences, examples, and facts, consider dropping the argument altogether.

Are the people I am talking to ready to hear this? If you claim something progressive in a conservative environment, that might not be the right audience to put forward your brilliant new idea to. Wanting to go South when everybody (or at least, who’s driving) is going North, is a pretty ambitious target, so consider dropping the argument altogether.

If the impact your idea will have is relevant, you have facts supporting it and people willing to hear, than go ahead and invest. Be wary though that these three are often missing, and when that’s the case you are only going to waste time, energy and eventually deteriorate relationships.

Reporting relevance

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In July, this blog has gotten most visitors in a single month than ever, more than doubling the number from June. Views per day and per post have doubled as well. The reach was expanded to new countries, such as Ukraine, Papua New Guinea and the Netherlands, and viewership in an important country such as Germany was consolidated (visitors increased 1,000% month-over-month). The most popular hour to post is confirmed to be 8PM, as most of this blog’s audience seem to be online then.

This is all true. And of course, it is irrelevant.

With the amount of data we get exposed to nowadays, it is easy to get distracted by numbers and fake successes. We have actually developed an extended capacity to focus on the numbers that confirm what we believe is happening and boost our confidence, without talking about the ones that actually matters.

Why are you tracking what you are presenting? How does that affect the change you are trying to make? Are you closer or farther away from achieving that? Can you measure the final change? Is an history of those numbers, going back at least 12 months, available? Would people react differently if they would see natural numbers rather than percentages?

Those are important questions when preparing your next report. If you don’t know how to answer them, or if you catch yourself cheating while answering them, do everyone a favour and do not press send.

When we are afraid

FabrizioLeave a comment

Heights scare me.

It’s a truth I get confirmed every time I stand at more than two metres above the ground. Last week I was on a panoramic tower at an amusement park with my son. I thought I could do it, as it looked safe and was completely closed by one big window. And he really wanted to go. But as soon as we started moving up, I realised it was a bad idea. No way to go back, there were many people with us, and the climb was automatized. As we were sitting there and moving up, I grabbed my son, telling him to stay seated and composed, as moving too much could be dangerous (not true). At some point, I have also put a whole arm across his chest (as a sort of safety belt), and he immediately reacted by removing my arm and asking “daddy, why are you doing this?”.

Why was I doing it?

Of course, I was seeking control. When we are afraid and when things start to slip away, we seek control. We want to make sure that the world is comfortable and predictable, and the way we try to achieve that is by taking control on what we have power on.

It’s a natural reaction, and yet one that has at least a couple of problems.

First, it prevents us from experiencing the situation: I have no memory of what I saw on the tower, no clear idea of what I was feeling and where, and not a single more tool to try to fight the fear should I find myself in the same situation again.

Second, it prevents others around us from experiencing the situation: my son was bothered by my behaviour, he probably enjoyed the ride anyway, but I am not sure he would like to go again with me, and to be honest I cannot blame him.

For as difficult as it is in certain situations, letting go is the best thing one can do in the face of fear. Appreciating the fact that the present moment is scary for you, understanding how it makes you feel, taking a deep breath, and completely taking in what is going on.

Train with small things first, then pass onto the bigger ones. It will be liberating.