Tag: relationships

Harmony

FabrizioLeave a comment

Harmony is rarely a first choice.

As humans, we are wired to seek for friction, to look at the world from our perspective, to burst when somebody does not agree, to focus on one negative even when it comes with one hundred positives. We never shy away from a challenge, and then we try to escape the distress that comes with it by crafting stories that point the finger or tell about how inadequate we are.

Harmony is almost never the first choice. Yet, it’s still a choice. One that requires effort, commitment, groundlessness, humbleness.

It needs to be chosen every day, until it becomes the only possible choice to move forward. Are you up for it?

Replenished

FabrizioLeave a comment

It’s Christmas.

A great time to say “thank you” to the person who is there for you, all the time.

To praise the colleague for their brilliant work.

To talk with a friend about what they will become.

To forgive the ones who have, inadvertently or not, hurt you.

To hold the dear ones and tell them about how lucky you are.

To start that project you have pushed back for too long.

To help somebody disentangle from negative thoughts.

To tell about kindness and how it spreads.

Of course, all of the above works any day of the year. But if it’s true we often need a symbol, today is the perfect day to give more than you receive. You will find yourself replenished.

Merry Christmas.

And thank you all for reading. It means the world to me.

Not one single line

FabrizioLeave a comment

The things you did in the past.

The people you have been around.

The way dear ones have treated you.

The level of education you have achieved.

The jobs you’ve had.

The knowledge you have accumulated.

The places you have visited.

The trauma you barely talk about.

The experiences you have shared with others.

The missing praises.

The undeserved rewards.

All we’ve been so far influences our behaviour, thoughts, feelings in the moment. And yet, they are not the moment. It’s a fundamental difference.

Life is not a straight line. It is not even one single line. You are not stuck on repeat, there’s actually plenty of choices on where to go next.

A step sideway

FabrizioLeave a comment

Categories help us make sense of the world.

And they are solid and merciless prisons.

We use categories to define ourselves and others, and we fail to understand, for the most part, that while they are a useful tool, they are fictitious. It’s way too easy to take on our shoulders the burden a full category carries with it, and it’s even easier to accuse others of misdeeds perpetrated by a generic (and often illusionary) category.

Take a step sideway the next time you use a category, whether it’s to label what you feel you are or what you feel others are. You will spot a lot more variety and will see clearly the immense power categories have on the way we perceive the world.

Picking

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you are waiting for someone to notice your work. If you are hoping tomorrow your boss is going to praise the project you are leading. If you desperately want somebody to enter the shop and admire your craft. If you believe your effort is not getting the attention it deserves.

If you are waiting to be picked.

Remember you can be the one starting it.

You can notice a colleague’s work, praise a peer’s project, enter a shop and admire someone’s craft, give the appropriate attention to those around you.

You can be the one who picks.

It’s contagious, and once you get in the habit, not only others are going to pick you more often, but you are also going to pick yourself with a lot less effort.

That’s the final goal, by the way.