Tag: relationships

All the difference

FabrizioLeave a comment

Discussing a plan, an idea, a project, a strategy with somebody who’s on a different agenda is challenging.

To push it through, you might be tempted to do one or more of the following.

Make it about the lack of alternatives – i.e. if we don’t do this, we will do nothing.

Make it about the very reason why the group exists – i.e. if we don’t do this, we will disappear.

Make it about something that is happening right here, right now – i.e. if we don’t do this, we will lose the opportunity.

Make it about the will of somebody in power – i.e. if we don’t do this, they will be disappointed.

These are shortcuts. Their main effect is to plant the seed of resistance in those listening. Depending on the circumstance, you might get the desired outcome (the plan, the idea, the project, the strategy will be executed). Yet eventually it will be a bare minimum outcome, something you yourself will be unwilling to put forward.

An alternative approach would be the following: here is what we want to achieve, how do we go about it? When you give people a problem instead of a thing to do, you’ll unlock their creativity and expertise. And they will be committed to delivering their best work, something you yourself will be proud to put forward.

It makes all the difference.

Do better

FabrizioLeave a comment

Asking others to do better, to be better is missing perspective.

A more productive approach would be enquiring about what you can do to enable them to do better, to be better. And follow up with what is needed.

An even more productive approach would be to figure out how you can do better, be better. And by simply doing that, make those around you shine brighter, achieve more, reach higher.

Finally, we could take it on our own to change the environment and the rules of the game so that what others are doing or the way they are would already be better.

When we ask others to do better, to be better we sort of take our own responsibility out of the picture. Yet, it feels to me there’s quite a lot we can do to achieve exactly the better we want others to achieve.

Needed

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you are a leader in this difficult time, go on video as soon as possible and talk to the people that look at you for an answer. Make it a recurrent thing, and most of all make it about them. How they feel, what they fear, what they need, how they are going to get out on the other side (with your help).

All the rest is unneeded.

Two speeds

FabrizioLeave a comment

Our world has been moving at two speeds for a long time now.

The virus that is spreading in so many countries today is an example of what has already been happening for decades. Somewhere, something ignites, and by the time the fire is everywhere, old and local institutions are still arguing to figure out whose fault it was and how they can drop the ball onto someone else.

The lack of global leadership makes it impossible for countries to act in time and with a common strategy, and inaction is the fertile ground on which so many of the problems our society is facing can soar undisturbed.

What happened next …

FabrizioLeave a comment

.. is not always newsworthy.

After you have landed that job you so much wanted, often the most exciting part is showing up every day to do your best.

When you make a resolution to change an unhealthy habit, most of the time peak adrenaline is in the moment you make up your mind, and it’s followed by days, weeks, months of sticking to it.

Decorating your new apartment might give you a kick, and then you’ll have to navigate the day after day of your life inside it, uneventful for the most part.

It’s not always easy to be at ease in the average routine, yet that’s what most of our lives are made of. If you want to be an agent of change, that’s a lesson better learned fast.