Tag: problems

Not particularly good

FabrizioLeave a comment

How is it that when we feel out of place we go on a crusade to show the world we actually belong?

When someone points at one of our flaws, we insist in denying it. When someone shows us a mistake we have made, we immediately think they are wrong. When facing the fallacy of our argument, we go to great lengths to distort reality and adapt it to what we are saying. When in a role that has never suited us, we try to play the part up until the damage is just too big.

We spend a great deal of energy trying to be what we are not, to protect things we normally do not care about, to convince ourselves and others of something.

We should rather just accept that we are not particularly good at most things.

And move on.

Your phone

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you keep your phone on your desk while working, you get distracted.

If you turn it down, set it to silent or vibrate, you still get distracted.

If you put it somewhere else in the same room, you still get distracted.

If you leave it in your bag or in your coat, you still get distracted.

If someone separates you from your phone, you still get distracted.

And this means that you have increasing difficulties both when trying to access knowledge that you already have and when facing new problems that require new information (see Ward et al., 2017).

The most reliable way to avoid this is to train in being intentionally distant from your phone. It might sound as a difficult thing to do, and still nurturing a habit of doing without distraction can give a concrete and tremendous competitive advantage. Professionally, personally, and even sentimentally.

Today is a great day to start.

Love the process

FabrizioLeave a comment

The great thing about getting better at something is that it is an infinite process.

There is no limit, no perfection.

It is something that cannot be grasped. You can look back and say: I am better at it now. And while you say it, you are already on your way to getting better.

It is not a linear development. You win some, you lose most, and yet eventually, somehow, you end up being better.

It is not an action we are particularly good at planning, and indeed most of our betterment happens without a clear path, when we do not know, when there is darkness at the end of the tunnel.

Better is a volatile concept to hang on to.

So, love the process instead and forget better.

If, when, and how

FabrizioLeave a comment

In life, as in business, it is often not a matter of if.

Things will happen that will mess with your plans, disturb your tranquillity, challenge your assumptions, force you to review your ideas.

On the other end, it is pointless to make it a matter of when.

You can’t control change, and timing might turn into an excuse to not do things. Tomorrow, when the right situation will present itself, after we have completed this, just one more time, and so on.

It turns out it is almost always a matter of how.

You are stronger if you have a practice, if you have a strategy, if you have a purpose, if you have a culture. Not because things will not happen right when you are not expecting them, but because you have something to step onto for the following leap.

It is always the right time for doing.

Step aside

Fabrizio1 Comment

Most of the pressure we feel is of our own making.

When we manage to take a step aside and ask important questions (why do I want this? what do I need? what is the worst thing that could happen?) we find the space to breath.

People in our lives are fine with attention and kindness. All we add on top of that is up to us.