When we give feedback, in the same way as when we offer our help, the next best thing to do is to let it go.
Clinging to it is counterproductive, and most likely only the person receiving it knows if it’s going to help them or not.
By all means, give feedback. And then let it go.
There are many different ways to address any case. Unfortunately, you probably have resources (attention, money, energy, motivation) to try one or two of them at the same time.
The point is then to avoid lengthy discussions about which way is the better (not to mention pointless scenario-building that change the rules of the case), and put some effort instead in identifying what successfully addressing the case looks like.
And then just do, measure and adjust.
If you are lucky enough to see your company growing, or if you are an early stage employee at a growing company, here are four things for you to consider.
Four things I have consistently seen working when taken into account, or snowballing into disasters when disregarded.
As you promote people into managerial positions, make it crystal clear that their new priority is managing people. This requires a very different set of skills, and most likely some external training is needed. Do not assume that just because somebody is good at their job, or is an expert in a certain area, they will also be good bosses. If they are too busy, make space for them. They should not.
When somebody makes something that is very good for the company, make sure to take some time to acknowledge that and craft a story out of it. This is valid at many levels, and it is one of the responsibilities of leaders and managers to elaborate on why what was done matters, here and now, as well as to spread it. This is the behaviour you want more of.
At this point, you probably have some type of culture deck or presentation or brief. Put it to test, and change it as the company grows. Finding examples and stories (see also above) that resonate with the type of culture you want to establish is fundamental. Your culture lives, whether you want it or not, and it’s up to you to approach it strategically.
Finally, remove “good job” (and its variants “great work”, “amazing content”, “superb teamwork”, …) from the accepted phraseology. If something is truly good, make a commitment to say why it is so, and how it does serve the purpose of the organization at this stage. If it’s not, establish an environment in which candid criticism is accepted and not taken as a personal judgement of someone’s abilities.
There is an old joke, I am not sure where it is originally from, but at least I am quite sure I have heard it in the series The Middle.
It’s about a wife, frustrated at her husband as he never shares his feelings for her. “You never say I love you”, she says. “I told you when we got married”, he counters. “If anything changes, I will let you know.”
This reflects quite well the attitude towards praise in business.
Managers think members of their teams know where they stand, because they once shared a “good job!” with them, or at the very least because if things would not be ok, for sure they would let them know.
It is an easy shortcut to avoiding a serious conversation about the job that is being done, one that requires a careful look at the whole (what we are doing as a company, why it does matter, where we are headed, …) and at its parts (how does what you are doing fits into it, what I did like of your job in particular, what can be improved, …).
If you do not express sufficient (and specific) appreciation for the people you lead, chances are they are going to look for it somewhere else.
Do not be surprised when they do.
Somebody once told me: “If you don’t tell me you don’t like it, you are the one losing, as I will go on doing it.”
A key takeaway from this article about radical candor, is that it’s not really a choice.
You might refrain from delivering criticism because of kindness, or because you don’t like being criticized in the first place, or perhaps the timing is not right, as everybody is in a hurry, and you’ll get back to it later, when the situation is calmer.
In the meantime people develop habits, that gets consolidated and more difficult to notice and adjust. You get frustrated, nurture a negative narrative about the other person, figure out ways to live with it and postpone the confrontation.
Until it all breaks down. If only..
Time and potential are wasted by not being candid in the first place.
You've got this 