Tag: feedback

Asking to change

Fabrizio1 Comment

Change is difficult enough when it is us starting it. If we are asked to change for a cause that is not ours, that becomes a whole lot more challenging.

Consider two things.

Those asking for you to change should be less than those supporting you for who you are. When this is not the case, you might have to reconsider your circle, because the unbalance is probably taking a lot of your focus and energy.

Those asking for you to change might either be giving you a kick in the right direction or pulling you in their own direction. While we sometimes need the former, as we might be unable to see the change we need, we very rarely will benefit from the latter.

Folly

FabrizioLeave a comment

Companies have a strong tool they can leverage to influence behaviour: rewards.

The problem then is not that companies cannot figure out how to increase employees collaboration, how to break down silos, how to foster innovation, or how to build a safe space for feedback. The problem is that the focus is – sometimes unintentionally – on a contrasting behaviour, which gets strenghtened with rewards.

Steve Kerr 1995 – On the folly of rewarding A, while hoping for B.

Kill your ideals

FabrizioLeave a comment

We idealize what we don’t know and we dismiss what we know.

Then we fill the gap with misery.

We should kill our ideals, not to put a stop to our ambition, but to appreciate that we already have all we need to be at peace.

The camel

Fabrizio2 Comments

Episode nine of the second season of Parks and Recreation presents a plot that many will find familiar.

The boss wants to win a competition and calls for the whole team to come up with ideas. Despite the general disengagement, each one of them presents a proposal; and when failing to agree on which one to put forward for the prize, they come together and combine them all into one. The result is a camel – in the sense of a horse designed by committee – that leaves them with slim chances to win, and yet it is a team effort. Unsatisfied and driven by possible reward, the boss calls the external consultant, who comes up with something that would most likely take the first prize. While further disengaging the team.

The point is that it is more important to achieve something together, anything really. This is how team, morale, and bond are built.

There are very few circumstances when winning matters more then the way you compete. Very few.

Possibly none.

The change you want to see

Fabrizio2 Comments

Be the change you want to see in the world.

It’s great advice. But if feels difficult, sometimes vague, often out of reach.

To make it more concrete, consider this.

You work at a company that fosters a toxic environment. Everyone is only focused on achieving a reward, to the extent that people barely greet each other when they meet in the corridors, actively hide information to get some edge, and only put a smile on their faces in the presence of a manager.

You can’t take it anymore. You are close to burn out, you are tired of being treated as a machine, and you dread the meeting to set your next goals way more than failing at them.

You have some options.

You can quit. Some do that, not many though.

You can muscle through. Most do that, and of course while doing that they lose energy, enthusiasm, well-being.

You can put up a shield of cynicism and sarcasm. I have done it myself many times. Become the one who has a witty response at the ready, a negative comment for every situation, a superior attitude that eventually will make it impossible for others to take you seriously.

Or you can reach out and ask: “how are you?” Very few do that. Despite the awful situation, very few understand that what is most needed in difficult circumstances is connection. Very few understand that they can be the initiator of something that is going to grow around them. Very few understand that they can indeed be the change they want to see in their world.

It is difficult. It can be done.