Tag: feedback

Left wondering

FabrizioLeave a comment

People do not always have good intentions. For your wellbeing, though, you will be better assuming they do.

If you don’t, you are left wondering.

Was that comment directed to me?

Does that mean they are not happy with my performance?

Are they not replying because of what happened last quarter?

This is a tiring excercise and you have better things to invest your limited resources on.

Assume good intentions, take note of what you feel (confusion, frustration, incompetence, insecurity), and discuss that face to face when possible.

Not going to want to change

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you tell somebody they are stupid, they are not going to want to change.

If you make fun of their theories, point to their inconsistencies, denigrate their capacity for solid thinking, they are not going to want to change.

If all you give them is your version, for as much as sense as it makes, they are not going to want to change.

If you show them a world they cannot be part of, they are not going to want to change.

All of this can win a quick laugh and some superficial bond with those who think like you.

It’s not going to make things change, though.

Faulty comparison

FabrizioLeave a comment

How do you feel about those trying to succeed where you have failed?

It is natural to approach this with negativity. Certainly, someone achieving what you could not achieve will mean you are not good enough. It will put a spotlight on your shortfall. It will make others think less of you. It will make way for negative comments. It will preclude future opportunities.

That’s not so. And you are better off if you not measure your worth by comparison with others.

Think instead: how can I help them, so that they will not make the same mistakes I have made?

And: what can I learn from their process, so that I will be more ready next time?

Stepping stones

FabrizioLeave a comment

Relationships are key to success.

The people you have around, your family, friends, colleagues, the mentor you discuss difficult topics with, those you turn to when it’s time to celebrate, debrief, understand.

The idea of the lonely hero triumphing against all odds is just wrong. Success is quite predictable, and the relationships you are building – the two-way relationships – are the stepping stones.

I am sorry

Fabrizio4 Comments

As a leader, saying I am sorry is your responsibility. It helps healing and looking forward, it gives perspective, it makes you human.

It is also your responsibility to not make of I am sorry an empty sentence. If you find yourselves saying that too often, as a reaction to the same situations, it should be clear it is time for you for a change.