Tag: feedback

Arrogant assumption

FabrizioLeave a comment

When leaders say any of the following:

  • I put a lot of pressure on myself.
  • I hold myself to very high standards.
  • I am the biggest critic of my work.

It typically means that they will find it challenging to establish relationships based on trust, particularly with direct reports.

And it’s not because what they say is not true. It might indeed be that they expect a lot of themselves, that they are never happy with what they achieve, that they always strive for more.

But they then extend the same expectations on others. They assume that just because others don’t feel the same pressure, don’t adhere to the same standards, don’t agree with the same critiques, it means they are not as committed, as motivated, as performing.

That’s a bit of an arrogant assumption.

Inquisitive

FabrizioLeave a comment

Every flaw you see in the world.

Every error message for any software, every bug that gets reported, every overly bureaucratic process, every mistake that gets you infuriated.

It is the product of the work of somebody.

And of course, sometimes it was a poor job, sometimes you simply have to go and fix things. But other times instead – most of the times – there are reasons why things work in a certain way and a person who is proud for having found a way to create something that was not there before.

If we are able to step out of our anger and take an inquisitive approach, we might save time and relationships. And we might make it so that the next time, that person, will be even more motivated to take the initiative.

Walls

FabrizioLeave a comment

We only see our side of the story.

That’s why when we go to someone with something that’s important for us, that becomes urgent.

That’s why when we read through an email we only notice the parts that confirm what we already know.

That’s why when we find new evidence we are sure that’s the one that will convince everybody.

And that’s also why we should be extremely careful when giving judgements, passing sentences, and building walls.

The target is to be convinced (of your values, your purpose, your views) and open (to other perspectives and versions) at the same time.

Can you do that?

The overall journey

FabrizioLeave a comment

Are you proud of your overall journey, so far?

That is to say, if you look back at some crucial points in your timeline, do you have a narrative to bind them together in a way that makes you proud?

Forget about the latest missteps, the most recent failure, the bad period, the negative feedback, the missed goal. Keep your eyes, instead, on the overall journey.

Are you proud of it?

Personal and personally

FabrizioLeave a comment

There is a thin difference between making it personal and taking it personally.

When you make something personal it’s a sign that you care about it. It means that, whatever the outcome will be, it will along a part of you. It’s about giving a shape to something that would not be the same were you not involved. It’s affirming your identity through your work.

When you take something personally, on the other hand, it’s a sign that you care about you. You are assuming that you are the focus on the conversation, which is perfectly normal to assume, but is often untrue. It’s about taking a part of something that is going on to justify your behaviour. It’s affirming your identity through the work of others.

It’s a thin difference and an important one.