The lack of candor and openness in most workplaces is one of the main demotivators for employees.
If you work at a place where everybody agrees during a meeting, but then implementing what was decided is a lengthy and painful process, that’s probably because people don’t feel like they are free to speak up or because they don’t want to. One way or the other, the environment gets quickly very toxic, frustration mounts, and what’s left is an ocean of indifference and inefficiency.
Putting somebody on a pedestal is a bad thing for you and for them.
For you, because you are taking distance from an ideal that you should, instead, make your own. You say things like: I’ll never be like you; You are much better than I am; I could never do that. And by saying it, you both set a lower bar for yourself and build a perfect excuse for your next failure.
For them, because you are holding them to an unrealistic standard. It might be that they have found some specific ways to manage the situation, but for sure they battle with the same demons, have the same uncertainty, feel the same fear of failure as you do. They need to be able to express all that, instead of hiding it to adhere to the idea you might have.
At some point, you have to let go.
Not of things, but of your attitude towards things. Most of what happens is made worst by what we think about it, what we feel about it, what we say about it – to ourselves and to others. That’s what we need to get rid of, the part we have to let go.
Do it sooner rather than later, and you can start the process of change.
Whether you win or you lose, you need to be able to do two things.
First, appreciate your performance – which means giving an appropriate value to your role. Because whether you win or you lose this time, the outcome of the next challenge will be based on how well you understand what went well and what did not go as well.
Second, extend a hand to your opponent – no matter if it’s a person or a situation. Because whether you win or you lose this time, you ought to be able to recognize that some things are out of your control and deserve your unconditional respect.
We want to be strong, but we are often fragile.
A compliment makes us feel great and unique, a critique turns us into useless and pitiful beings. The very same thing in two separate moments might give us completely different emotions. We don’t put trust in ourselves enough, yet we are ready to follow some total stranger who appear to have achieved what we apparently desire so much.
We are fragile, and perhaps the real strength is in figuring out how to navigate our fragility without being overwhelmed by it.
You've got this 