Tag: fear

Replaceable

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you leave tomorrow, the company you work for will continue with their business as usual.

It doesn’t matter if you are doing great work. It doesn’t matter if everybody loves you. It doesn’t matter if your project has shattered all previous records, if the product you are leading is dominating the market, if your last campaign has brought in more business than all other campaigns combined.

It doesn’t matter if you are a regular employee, a manager, an executive, or the founder.

For as much as you think of yourself as the center of the world, most things will continue without you.

And that’s liberating.

Out of the nest

FabrizioLeave a comment

Shit happens, right?

We are all familiar with this way of saying. We have used it or heard it or written it o read it many times, in many different circumstances.

What we seem to not be very familiar with, though, is the actual situation of shit happening. We go about our lives as if we are seeking perfection, we convince ourselves that we can control every tiny detail, and eventually we are completely unprepared for the thousands of times when things don’t go according to plans.

We ought to learn to let go.

Not because we don’t care. Not because we have given up. Not because we turn our attention to something else.

But because we do care, we are committed, and we want to succeed.

To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.

Pema Chödrön

Defensive

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you get defensive during a conversation, you lose the opportunity to listen, to learn, to understand, and most importantly to move the relationship forward.

It is a strong impulse, instinctual almost.

Put some effort towards resisting it.

High five

FabrizioLeave a comment

We navigate most conversations with the following question in mind.

What can I say so that the other will like me?

And even when we interpret the other’s will perfectly, we never leave the conversation with a feeling of satisfaction and achievement.

We should instead head into the conversation with an answer to the following question.

What can I say so that, at the end, I will give myself a high five?

The first step

FabrizioLeave a comment

Looking at things from another person’s perspective does not mean you are giving up. It does not mean you are wrong. It does not mean you agree with them. It does not mean that you are going to change your mind.

It merely means that you are open to accept that the other person is living through different circumstances, has a different set of prioritites, has different feelings, fears, and thoughts. It means you are ready to appreciate how variegated human behaviour can be. And it means that you care.

It’s not a loss. It’s the first step towards building empathy.