Tag: fear

Cookies in a jar

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When you are looking for a culprit, remember there’s always someone who ate the last cookie in the jar.

Of course, that jar was full at some point. And the person who ate the last cookie might be the one who ate them all, the one who ate most of them, the one who ate some of them, or the one who just ate that last one.

Blame is assigned with great ease to those who are most exposed.

But if it’s reasons you are after, if you want to avoid the jar getting empty sooner than you expected the next time you fill it with your favourite cookies, you have to look a bit farther, a bit deeper, a bit more carefully.

Surprise

Fabrizio1 Comment

You have got to give yourself the chance to be surprised.

Not because you are unprepared. Not because you had not thought about something enough. Not because someone is trying to get ahead of you. Not because you have lost the bigger picture.

Just because people are surprising, and you got to give them credit for it as well as allow yourself to feel positively about it, without feeling in any way diminished.

From within

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We spend an incredible amount of time looking at others behaviour and trying to figure out what they think, when actually the largest impact comes from changing our own behaviour and the way we think.

Awareness starts from within. Don’t get distracted.

Anger and social media

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It turns out anger spreads faster than joy, because it does not need strong ties – and most of our relationships are weak, particularly nowadays and particularly on social media.

If you share something negative or enraging, it gets picked up more likely by people who don’t know you or are mere acquaintances. While if you share something positive or joyful, it most likely will stop at your closest ties.

The idea that something liked, shared, commented, viewed is good is fundamentally faulted. We need to change that before we can actually look at the future of social media.

Losing control

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When you lose control, your instinct tells you to control whatever it is left. The problem is, often what is left does not need your control.

If your relationship is going downhill, you strengthen your grip on your kids. Do this, don’t do that, come here, go there. Of course, they don’t need any of that.

If your team is failing to meet their goals, you double down on your team members. This is wrong, we should try that, why is this happening. Of course, they don’t need any of that.

If your creativity has hit a plateau, you focus more and more on the small details. Let’s refine the tone, let’s make it perfect. Of course, the details are – in most cases – meaningless.

It’d be great if you could just let go of control in the first place, so as to not risk to lose it at any point. It would save a lot of trouble.